Pppppppt: The 2005 Bellagio PPT

Busted Bub

My initial excitement over the "tour" aspect of the World Poker Tour had faded and at this point I was happiest to go back to Las Vegas, where the streets were lined with world-class resorts, restaurants, and casinos. Bellagio was not my favorite place to play because of the constant cigarette smoke drifting into the supposedly non-smoking poker area. Nice hotel though.

 

As always the Professional Poker Tour event was a freeroll, meaning I didn't have to pay, and I donned a polo shirt bearing the logo of my sponsor, Full Tilt Poker, before heading over to the B. There were 230 entrants. I drew table 41, seat three, and as usual for these events had a table full of good players. On my left in seat four was John Stolzman, the young gun who won the WPT event in Tunica and caused a tempest in a teapot when he tipped the staff an extra $500 over the $45,000 "tip" he was forced to leave when 3% was deducted from the prize pool. (Even this freeroll event, nominally a $500,000 purse, really paid only $485,000, the other $15,000 going to the tournament staff.) Seat five was the tough John Myung. On his left was Chris Bigler, another tough and aggressive player. Seat seven was my buddy Russell Rosenblum, and in seat eight was Ken Goldstein, brother of Stan. The Professor himself, Howard "Bub" Lederer, had seat nine. In seat one was Lyle Berman, majority owner of the WPT and PPT. I asked him why a guy who flipped burgers at McDonalds couldn't play a scratch-card game in his restaurant but it was OK for the guy who owned this tournament to play in it. "Because I'm dead money," he replied. Finally, on my right was Ron Faltinsky, a tournament veteran.

 

I tangled it up with Howard early when he raised in late position and I called on the button with Queen-Ten of Diamonds. The flop came Nine-Eight-Trey with the Nine and Eight of Diamonds, giving me a Straight Flush draw. Howard bet out and I made a modest raise. He came over the top, again modestly. I put him on a big pair and I moved all in. Howard thought for a while, gave me his patented staredown, and then said, "Oh well, I have a lot of work to do today," and called all in. I had him covered since he had lost a small pot earlier. He turned over the expected Aces and I'm sure he was happy to see I had the big draw, making him a slight favorite, and not a set, which would have made him a seven-to-one dog. The turn gave me a flush and the river made my Straight Flush. I had busted Bub and, classy guy that he was, he gave a tight smile, wished me luck, and lumbered out of the room. I was up to 17,325.

 

My old nemesis Phil Hellmuth, Jr., took Howard's seat and immediately ordered several bottles of Dom Perignon from the cocktail waitress, although he didn't drink them. As was my tradition, I asked Phil if he knew my name yet. He looked annoyed, like a fly was buzzing around his head, and barely shook his head. A few others at the table said, "Really?" and "You don't know who he is?" I told Phil we'd probably played almost 40 hours of poker together and flipped him a Lion Tales card. Finally he remembered Aruba. "You're the guy who came over the top of me with Ace-Eight in Aruba and beat my pocket Tens!"

 

I said, "I had Ace-Ten and you had pocket Nines, but yeah. You talked about it for three hours."

 

"But there was only an hour left in the day," he said.

 

"Actually it was the last hand of the day. I came back a couple hours later and you were still talking."

 

He wrinkled his nose and clammed up.

 

Ron Faltinsky got moved to the spotlight table and then Ram "Crazy Horse" Vaswani took his seat. I had 17,600 at the first break. John Stolzman busted and Phi Nguyen took his spot on my left. I wasn't too happy about that as Phi was a very tough player. Nevertheless, I chipped up with a couple small pots to 22,000 at the next break.

 

Tony Cousineau took seat two when Ram busted and then the winner of the Party Poker Million last month, Mike Gracz, took seat seven when Russell lost all his chips. I played a few pots but got raised out by the aggressive guys on my left and was down to 13,350 at the break. Then Ken Goldstein slow-played a flopped set of Aces and got some chips when I tried to pick up the pot on the river. Mike Gracz busted and was replaced by a guy I didn't recognize, sipping a cocktail, who said his name was John. I figured he was a high roller put in by the Bellagio but when the President of Bellagio, Bill McBeath, came up and stood behind him, I got suspicious. It turned out Bellagio and used at least some of its entry slots for hotel executives rather than as rewards for loyal customers, as every other PPT host casino had done. John turned out to be a finance bigwig at Bellagio and a very nice guy. Bellagio's management were in the enviable position of not having to try very hard to attract customers or earn their loyalty. It would be fun to see how they adjusted when they were no longer the premier destination in town.

 

Chris Bigler went out and the man himself, Doyle "Texas Dolly" Brunson, took seat six. I remarked to Doyle that the last time he was at my table I got knocked out with Aces Full to Four Kings and I blamed him. He had heard it all over the years and just smiled. But then, down to 7000 or so, I raised in second position with Ace-King. Kenny G moved all in over the top and I called. He showed Ace-Queen, making me a big favorite, but turned a Queen and I was out of the contest.

 

The $25,500 WPT Championship was next.

 

Conrad's House of Elk: The 2005 Reno World Poker Challenge

Game

Shortstack wouldn't miss a trip to the Reno Hilton, which she calls "Conrad's House of Elk" after the delicious game meat entrée served in the steakhouse there. She actually went down a day early to play in the ladies' event while I recovered from the Party cruise and I joined her the next day. Shortstack outlasted about half the field but got few playable hands and the fast structure chewed her up. I ended up flying down with Lee Markholt, also a Washingtonian, who finished second to James van Alstyne in that Poker Royale thing they played at the Orleans last year and televised on the Game Show Network. I signed up for tomorrow's main event and then we had dinner with Matt "Jacks Up" Matros, author of the hot new poker book The Making of a Poker Player. We washed the generous portion of elk down with a 1999 Stag's Leap Cask 23, always fabulous.

 

That thing

I drew table 39, seat two, to start the $5100 event, the smallest buy-in on the World Poker Tour. There were 361 starters and no one I recognized was at my table, which was great, although I later found out that seat five was occupied by Alex Prendes, who had recently made a major final table. Shortly after the start, James van Alstyne sat down fashionably late on my right in seat one. He had been on my left with a huge chip stack at the Bellagio $15,000 event and I much preferred him on my right, where I had position on him. When I had first met him at Bellagio I tried to figure out who he was and then it clicked. "You're the guy who won that thing," I had said. The Stanford grad turned his sharp eyes toward me, expressionless, and said, "Yeah, I won the thing." Someone else at the table piped up, "What did you get for winning the thing?" James replied, without missing a beat, "Some stuff."

 

The table was full of what are known as "calling stations," players who don't fold marginal hands. James tested a few of them unsuccessfully and bluffed off most of his chips while I sat back and waited for hands, which weren't forthcoming. I was down to 7675 at the first break and hovered around that level as the blinds and antes increased and the table got tougher and tougher. Seat six busted and was replaced by Richard "Got Milk" Grijalva, finalist at the 2004 WPT Championship. James couldn't make anything happen with his short stack and busted out, to be replaced by the dreaded Phil Ivey, who immediately started raising 50% of the pots. That wasn't so bad for me but I needed a decent hand to play back at him with. I decided to see a flop on the button with King-Queen offsuit but mucked it to Ivey's bet when an Ace hit and my cards didn't. Rich Grijalva busted and my buddy Andy "The Rock" Bloch, looking mean in his Full Tilt sunglasses, took seat six. I was practically down to the felt and when the button open-limped and Ivey completed the small blind, I found pocket Nines on the big and moved in the rest of my chips. The button called, Ivey folded, and to my surprise the button turned over pocket Kings. I would have called had he raised anyway but I thought it was a weird play. I didn't improve and I was out of the contest, finishing 261^st.

 

I headed to the high-limit slot room to play a little video poker and the bust-outs dribbled in behind me: John "JJ" Juanda, Allen Kessler, and finally Josh Arieh. I got no love from the machines and the elk was calling so I went for another round with Avi "Two Cokes" Freedman, this time accompanied by the 2001 Caymus Special Selection, yummy out of the bottle but deep and lush after 45 minutes or so.

 

Next stop: Bellagio. Civilization. Ahh.

 

Cruising for Cash: The 2005 Party Poker Million WPT Cruise

Some party

Way back in September I had won an entry into the Party Poker Million cruise through an on-line satellite so I went on the cruise rather than the WSOP Circuit event at the Rio that conflicted with it. Shortstack had a conflict as well and sent me off alone so I dusted off my sandy ego and booked an Alaska Airlines flight down to San Diego. This year's cruise was on a newer Holland America ship, the Öosterdam. The décor was nicer throughout than on last year's Ryndam, but they still had outrageous charges for Internet access: $0.50/min. in the cabin or $100 for 250 minutes using wireless access in the public areas. Royal Caribbean had several years ago gone to $100 for in-cabin access for the entire cruise. PartyPoker, a company that makes its money off people getting to them via the Internet, might at least have cut a deal if not comped the whole thing. I ended up spending $600 on Internet.

 

PartyPoker held a reception on the first evening with complimentary cheap wine by the glass. I looked for the usual complimentary martinis but didn't find any. CardPlayer Cruises boss Linda Johnson explained that we were to tip the dealers in the cash games on board because they weren't actually getting paid anything out of the $4/pot rake. She also mentioned that they were tacking on a mandatory $70/person service charge onto all of our bills, just because. With the exception of tea and coffee, all the drinks in the poker room and restaurant were extra. Some party.

 

I wondered what kind of financial troubles PartyPoker must be in to nickel-and-dime their best customers this way so I did some calculations. With 735 entrants plus eight no-shows, PartyPoker was collecting  $594,392 in juice (including 3% in lieu of staff tips but not including another $2100 per winner subtracted from the prize pool to pay for the cruise, surely more than the actual cost). But wait: that's not all! Sixty players entered the on-line semifinals for each cruise winner and each paid $16 in juice for a total of $960 per winner. If they started from a smaller sub-satellite they paid even more. Subtracting the 80 or so direct buy-ins, that's another $636,480! So not even counting the advertising value of this event, Party started the week ahead over $1.2 million. It was as if the couple next door had won the lottery and invited all their neighbors to a party but asked them to bring their own drinks and charged them for parking. I did get some logoed T-shirts and polo shirts but no nice denim shirt like last year – the cutbacks – and a couple of logoed beach towels I left on the ship.

 

Chicken man

I shrugged off my opinion of PartyPoker and decided to have a good time on the cruise. On board I ran into Gary "Benji" Lent and he attempted to teach me some limit Hold 'Em skills in time for the event. I had drawn day one of the two-day split start, table 14, seat four. I didn't recognize anyone at my table but seat one was a guy in a chicken suit who was wearing it on a bet. It was tough to get a read on him and the tournament directors finally made him take it off but his friends said he won the bet anyway. I started off rough, getting pocket Tens and Queens beat, but then made a Straight while defending my blind with Six-Trey offsuit. I went to the first break down slightly from the starting 10,000 at 9125.

 

From there I caught a rush, winning several small pots – well, you can't win that large a pot in limit – and got to 19,050 at the next break and then to 31,000 at the next. I busted chicken man, getting him all in preflop with my Ace-King of Spades versus his pocket Eights and flopping a King. My friend Gavin Griffin took seat nine toward the end of the day and I avoided him. I got to a high of 39.050 and finished the day with a nice 34,000.

 

The tournament ended at a reasonable hour so Benji and I went to dinner in the main dining room, where we were joined by tournament regular Dan Heimiller and a blonde 22-year-old lesbian tattooed stripper from Oregon. The tattoos were visible all along her left arm and she cheerfully told us, alternating between sipping a Bloody Mary and a glass of cranberry juice, that they go all across her torso and down her right leg. Apparently she was sharing two cabins with five young men from Eugene and they had brought her along in hopes that she would attract other, preferably heterosexual, 22-year-old women. But while most cruises have an overabundance of unattached females, this male-dominated poker charter was slim pickings so she ended up dining with us, perhaps comfortable in the avuncular warmth of Gary's and my baldness. Gary had the Mike Sexton New York Steak and I had a nice salmon without a celebrity name attached. Like last year, they named the dishes after the event staff and stars but I thought it was a little over the top to have (I am not making this up) "Shana Hiatt Red Snapper." We washed down dinner with a bottle I had brought aboard, the 2001 Nickel & Nickel Tench Vineyards Cabernet. It was sublime. They charged us $15 for corkage.

 

Day off

The second day, like the first, was at sea. I had the day off while the second half of the field started the tournament and I played some on line at great expense. I met up with Gary and Steven "Zee" Zolotow for dinner in the main dining room where we split the second Nickel & Nickel I had brought, the 2001 Rock Cairn. This one was yummy but not as lush at the Tench. Zee wanted to meet the stripper but she was nowhere to be found. An experienced cruiser, I suggested the most likely explanation was seasickness as I didn't think she could resist Zee's shining presence (his other nickname was "The Bald Eagle" in addition to Benji's and mine. The food wasn't bad on this tub, better than last year.

Limit is for suckers

Day three of the cruise we docked at Mazatlan, where I had been many times and saw no reason to visit again if I couldn't go to Señor Frog's and drink their nuclear margaritas, which I couldn't because I had to play that night. So I stayed on board and played a little on-line poker. When we set sail it was time to resume play in the tournament with the combined winners of the split day one. I drew table eight, seat nine, and who should be there but Gary "Benji" Lent in seat four. I didn't recognize anyone else but it didn't much matter as I got absolutely nothing to play. I was down to 19.500 at the break and soon thereafter we were all in the money for $5000 with 180 left. Benji got knocked out and I hung on to move up to the next cash level when it folded to me on the button with Jack-Ten suited. I raised and before the small blind could act, the little old lady in the big blind mucked her hand out of turn! Now the small blind could call with almost anything! I was furious but when he three-bet me I figured he had a real hand anyway. I called and the flop came Ten high. I put my last chips in and he called with Ace-Jack. I had been dominated before the flop but I caught my Ten on the flop to take the lead. But limit is about sucking and re-sucking and he hit the dreaded Ace on the river to knock me out in 111^th place, cashing for the second year in a row for about the same amount, $10,426.

All over but the cruising

For the rest of the cruise I played some cash games in the poker room and some on line. Some of the guys got off in Puerto Vallarta the next day, including Benji, but Zee and I wore out the palm of the Maitre D' at the gourmet room, eating there most of the rest of the trip for a modest $20/person extra charge. I ran into the tattooed stripper again once, at the poolside bar on deck nine. She jumped up and gave me a big hug, then tapped her temple with her finger and said, "I like intelligent men." I glanced over to see who she was sitting with, a grizzled drunk near 60 with a cigarette between his fingers burnt down so far as to be close to searing the flesh. "That's nice," I said, and excused myself with a frozen smile.  I didn't see Shana at all, which didn't surprise me as I think she's keeping a safe distance after the magical chemistry we had during the interview at the WPT Invitational. I was happy to get off and catch the next Alaska Airlines flight back to Seattle, where my Shortstack picked me up eagerly in the black T-Bird. I had only a brief rest before the next stop, Reno.

Now I'm Free…Freerollin': The 2004 Bay 101 PPT Event

Dog eat lion
I returned the Taurus to Avis and, after the obligatory argument about the tank being full even though the Taurus gas-gauge needle, which took about 10 minutes to recover from a fill, still read 7/8, hopped the next flight to San Jose, where I rented a lovely white Kia Splenda from Hertz and checked into my room at the Beverly Heritage Hotel. The hotel advertised free Internet but it was only free because it didn't work very well so I just used my Verizon 5220 card which worked fine here in the heart of Silicon Valley. I couldn't find anybody for dinner so I had a nice room-service meal and a little Grey Goose on ice.

The next morning I drove over to Bay 101 and got my video portrait taken in case I appeared on TV for this show. They had no food comps so I grabbed a tuna melt and some iced tea in the casino restaurant with Matt "Jacks Up" Matros, Mark Gregorich, and Andy "The Rock" Bloch. We chowed down on the final bites and they called for us to be seated but none of these had started close to on time so we weren't too worried. I drew table 14, seat eight. John Sutton, a local entry, was on my left in seat nine. In seat one was Jeri Thomas, one of the few women to have a World Series bracelet (Seven-Card Stud, 2000). I was happy and alarmed to see my friend Erick "E-Dog" Lindgren, one of the toughest no-limit players on the planet, in seat two. To his left in seat three was veteran Steve "Zee" Zolotow. In seat four was Card Player writer Allyn Jaffrey-Shulman, Barry's wife. In seat five was Phil "Unabomber" Laak. In seat six was an eccentric, long-haired guy with a thick middle-eastern accent with whom I had played with before but who had never wanted to give me his name. I finally got it out of him: Davood Mehrmand. Finally, on my right was the ubiquitous Men "The Master" Nguyen.

While we waited for the camera crews to mike up the featured table, I told the beautiful Allyn that she was the only human being on earth who could make "Shulman" sound like a waspy name. "Are you with the Newport Jaffrey-Shulmans?" I asked. She smiled and twinkled her eye. "No, the Laguna Beach Jaffrey-Shulmans." Nice place, Laguna Beach.

Finally the cards were in the air. Bay 101 had shuffle machines at all the tables, which I thought should be required for all high-stakes games and tournaments as it both eliminated some possibilities for cheating and allowed for more hands per hour. We started with 10,000 and I played a few small pots, down to 8000 or so, when I got involved in a pot with E-Dog. He made a small raise in early position and I called on the Big Blind with Ace-Seven of Spades. The flop Came Ace-King-Deuce. He milked me with small bets on every street and turned over a set of Deuces to take it down. Half my stack gone, E-Dog raised again in the same position and got calls from Zee, Men on the small blind, and me on the big blind with the same Ace-Seven of Spades. The flop came King-Queen-Four, two Spades. With the nut flush draw and an overcard I was looking to check-raise all in but Men bet out 600. I decided to call that and see what Erick and Zee would do. E-Dog made it 2000. Zee called and Men folded. I put Erick on a big King, Zee on a worse Flush draw, and Men on who knows what. I shoved in the rest of my chips, E-Dog immediately moved in, and Zee, who had less than me, called. When we turned the cards over, not only were we all on Flush draws but Men said he had one too! I of course had the best draw but Erick, unfortunately, did have the King, and with only three Spades and three Aces left in the deck it held up and Zee and I were out of the contest. I finished 141st out of 169.

I tore myself away from the Beverly Heritage and took the next flight out. Next stop: The PartyPoker Million cruise.

It's not really San Diego: The 2005 WSOP Circuit at Harrah's Rincon

Lioness Tales
Because casino gambling came to California through the back door of Indian gaming, none of the Southern California casinos was anywhere near civilization. Harrah's, which now owned the World Series of Poker trademark, decided to hold one of its five circuit events here at Rincon, an Indian casino operated in partnership with Harrah's located in a beautiful valley an hour from San Diego over twisting mountain roads. This casino was only semi-Bizarro; the rooms were gorgeous but under the Indians' compact with California they were not allowed to comp any alcohol. They held the tournaments in a ballroom well-protected from the smoking areas (Indian casinos were about the only place in California you were still allowed to smoke indoors). Shortstack, who had no interest in visiting Commerce, happily flew down for this event and we entered her in her first live tournament, a $230 ladies no-limit Hold 'Em tourney. There were 112 starters and she was able to run over her starting table pretty well. Before we knew it they were down to 27 and Shortstack was still in! She ran into Aces and lost most of her chips but played strong and held out for 12th place, only three from the money. She told me to make sure I wrote about her Lioness tale and wanted to know when her next tournament was.

Second hand redux
There were 208 entrants in this, the second World Series of Poker Circuit tournament. While the juice on the $10,000 entry fee was 5% including 3% for the staff in lieu of tips, Harrah's was offering a $2 million freeroll to the top 20 point earners in each circuit series. Since a top-18 finish in the main event all but guaranteed a ticket to that 100-player ball, mathematically Harrah's was adding about $400,000 to each of these events, making them a decent overlay.

I drew table 17, seat seven to start the dance. Aggressive high-stakes player Minh Ly was on my left in seat eight; Al Adler, a genial local amateur, had seat nine; my buddy Jim "Krazy Kanuck" Worth had seat one; Dennis "Swami" Waterman seat two; Erick "E-Dog" Lindgren, one of the top players in the world, seat three; a player I didn't recognize had seat four; the legendary TJ Cloutier had seat five; and another player unknown to me had seat six on my right. On the second hand of the tournament I limped under the gun for 50 with Nine-Eight of Spades. There were several other limpers and then TJ made it 425 to go on the small blind. I knew he liked to steal blinds early in the tournament so I called with my suited connector and position on him. Everyone else folded and the flop came Queen-Jack-Ten, two Hearts. TJ bet 800. I raised it to 2500 with my ignorant end of the Straight. He immediately moved all in. I decided if he had Ace-King it was going to be a short tournament for me and I called. He turned over pocket Queens, giving him a one-in-three shot of making a Full House to beat me, but my Straight held up and he was done, getting up and calling to his wife, "Joy! I'm out already!" TJ was a consummate professional and took these things with good humor. I called over Mike Paulle of PokerPages and Jen Creason of PokerWire and told her to let everyone know the Lion was the chip leader!

Unfortunately another top player, Alan Goehring, 2003 WPT champion, took TJ's place in seat five. His style was to play a lot of small pots and then occasionally make huge moves with nothing, a draw, or the nuts and you never knew which. I liked having position on him but never picked up much of a hand against him and couldn't capitalize on his looseness. Nam Le, a young rising star, got moved into the empty seat ten. I had 20,625 at the break.

I played a few small pots over the next level and finished up slightly with 21,225. E-Dog was catching nothing and bleeding chips slowly. At the start of the next level, Dennis "Swami" Waterman overplayed his top pair against me when he had Ace-Jack and I flopped a Set of Treys on an Ace-Four-Trey board. We got it all in and I busted him, bringing me up to a nice 30,875. I went to the next break with 29,700. Long-time pro Mickey Appleman took Swami's spot in seat two and when Nam Le busted he was replaced by the very jovial and very dangerous Paul Wolfe. E-Dog finally busted, never catching a break, and I treaded water for the rest of the day. Mickey busted and Allen Kessler took seat two. I finished the day with 28,375, around 30th of the 70 players left.

Flipped out
I got a good night's sleep and drew table 12, seat three to start day two. It was a very unlucky draw. The chip leader, Amir Vahedi, sat on my left in seat four; veteran Thor Hansen had seat five; Tony Licastro had seat six; Billy Gazes had seat seven; Prahlad "Spirit Rock" Friedman had seat eight; David Oppenheim had seat nine; Alan Goehring remained two seats to my right in seat one; and Hoyt Corkins, short stacked, was on my right in seat two. It wasn't the worst table draw ever but it wasn't good.

Alan Goehring raised my big blind with his usual minimum raise and I found pocket Sevens so I made a nice pot-sized reraise. He moved all in. I had him covered and decided to call. He turned over Ace-King of Spades and flopped a Flush. A Pair on the turn gave me four outs but the miracle didn't come and I lost the coin flip, sending me down to around 10,000. Hoyt busted and I got nowhere, going to the break with a sad 7750 in chips.

They broke our table and I moved to table nine, seat six. Prahlad had seat seven; David "Harpo" Levy seat eight; Stan Goldstein seat nine; Chris "Jesus" Ferguson seat ten; retired scientist Harry Demetriou seat three; and Alan Goehring still on my right in seat five. Harry moved all in under the gun and I pushed in over the top with Ace-King of Diamonds. This time I won the coin flip and doubled up to 14,600. I picked up some blinds and antes and was back up to 20,000 at the break.

Then I raised in middle position with King-Queen offsuit. Prahlad, who had been waiting patiently for a hand, moved in his short stack. It folded to me and I called the additional 5500, getting almost three-to-one pot odds and hoping he had pocket Jacks. Instead he turned over Cowboys. I picked up an open-ended Straight draw on the turn but the best hand won and I was back down to 10,500. Randall Skaggs, who took Harry's seat when he busted, had been moving his short stack all in with some frequency and always showing decent hands. I decided to call in the big blind with Presto, pocket Fives. He turned over Ace-Six and spiked an Ace on the flop. We counted down the stacks and coincidentally had the exact same chip count, 10,700. I lost one too many coin flips and I was out of the contest 48th.

Paul Wolfe busted around the same time and we played a little pot-limit Omaha before breaking for dinner. Unused to a flood of big shooters, Rincon had its two best restaurants closed two days a week, including tonight. With my Seven Stars card, however, we were allowed to cut the long line at the tiny Chinese place and along with Russ Boatman and one of the tournament staff had a nice dinner with hot sake. They had only one sake glass so Ross used it while Wolfie drank out of a shot glass and I used a water goblet.

After Dinner Al Adler, who had busted out of my starting table toward the end of day one, took me aside and asked if I had any advice for him. I looked down at his smoldering cigarette and then over at his beautiful wife and two young daughters. I said "Quit smoking."

Next stop: the Professional Poker Tour freeroll in San Jose.

Welcome to the D List: The 2004 WPT Celebrity Invitational

Second hand

I bought in for the WPT Championship at the Bellagio which automatically got me an entry in the WPT Invitational back in beautiful downtown Commerce. There was a snazzy party the night before hosted by UltimateBet and All In magazine at the Spider Club in Hollywood. I crashed and had a couple comped martinis made with moderately priced vodka. I was hoping to see Emily Procter there but she didn't show and since other than poker I didn't watch much TV besides old seasons of West Wing and The Sopranos I didn't recognize anyone else.

 

The day of the event I pulled up to valet parking at the casino, having paid a ridiculous $143/night for the Wyndham Commerce down the street, nonrefundable. My timing was excellent because there was Shana Hiatt posing for photographers in her little red dress on the red carpet they had out for the celebrity players. I waited until she was done and then tried to enter but the red carpet was only for real celebrities and I had to go around back to get a plastic wristband letting the guards know I was OK to mingle. None of the A-list celebrity poker players—Ben Affleck, Tobey Maguire, and Matt Damon leading the list—made it for the event and they went well through the B and C lists into the D list, which I may have qualified for myself having appeared as a guest on Oprah! some years ago.

 

Like last year, they threw a nice cocktail party for us at noon before the event. I had some yummy sushi and chicken satays but stuck with water to keep my brain ticking for the tournament. I still didn't recognize anyone other than poker players. There were 238 players competing for the $200,000 prize pool. Soon it was starting time and I drew table six, seat 10. It was a pretty tough table: "Action" Dan Harrington had seat one; Eric Weiner, with whom I had played at a big Bellagio tournament, had seat four; Joe "The Elegance" Beevers had seat five; and Bellagio tournament director Jack McClelland had seat six. The rest must have been celebrities but I didn't have Shortstack around to identify them. We started with 10,000 in chips and blinds of 50/100. I had the small blind for the second hand and seat two made a small raise under the gun to 200. Seat three, a writer for the Los Angeles Times, called, as did two others. I found pocket Kings and made a hefty pot-sized raise to 1200. Seat two and the writer called. The flop came Jack high and I bet out 3000 into the 4000 pot. The writer called. I figured he had something like Ace-Jack. The turn was harmless so I put in the rest of my chips. He called but I still thought I had the best hand until he turned over pocket Jacks. My miracle didn't come on the river and I was first out.

 

I may have subconsciously realized that in this event the first one out gets not only a $1500 admission to the World Poker Tour Boot Camp but also an interview with Shana Hiatt. Shana was concerned because I busted out before she had time to change out of her little red dress but producer Steve Lipscomb told her to go ahead and do me in the dress.

 

Einstein once explained his theory of relativity by saying that when you were sitting on a hot stove, a minute seemed like an hour, and when you were sitting with a pretty girl, an hour seemed like a minute. I think the interview lasted thirty seconds but it was over almost before it started, leaving only the memory of those big brown eyes softly inviting me into her world. She seemed reluctant to end it and I think there were some definite sparks there so I gave her a quick wink and waved goodbye with my left hand, the one with the wedding ring on it. I didn't begrudge her interest in me but she had to know I was a one-woman lion.

 

I called Shortstack and told her the story, then got ready to pack up for the next stop on this busy California tour: San Diego.

 

Fizzle in the drizzle: The 2005 LA Poker Classic

Bizarro Vegas

Like last year, the City of Commerce was awash in Seattle weather during the annual February Los Angeles Poker Classic tournament series. The rain misted and showered from drizzle to torrents in the normally dry Southern California climate. Poker's popularity had caught up with the hotel space in the area so that rooms in the two acceptable hotels in this normally undesirable part of east LA were running up to $149/night if you could get one. Despite taking about $500 in juice, including staff payments in lieu of tips, from the $10,000 entry fee, the Commerce Casino charged players $1 each for water during the tournament. It was like a Bizarro version of Las Vegas where everything was backwards. In Vegas they build resorts, give you free rooms, ply you with free drinks, and try to get you to gamble. In LA they build the casino in the worst part of town, don't have enough decent hotel rooms, and charge you for water. Well, I just had to step outside, look up, and open my mouth.

 

The casino hotel was sold out but I found a $99 rate at the Wyndham. That was still three times what I had paid last year and when I checked in they tried to tell me I had to give them 24 hours notice to check out or pay one night's penalty. I told them that was not listed on the web site when I made the reservation and if I wanted a long-term lease I would rent an apartment. I crossed out the offending language on the registration card instead of initialing it and left the bewildered front-desk clerk to iron things out with his manager.

 

Wyndham had a great frequent-guest program. I was used to being treated like a king with Platinum or Diamond status in the big hotel chains but all you had to do was sign up for Wyndham's program and you got treated better than a Hyatt Diamond: wine, water and snacks in the room upon arrival, preferred floors and views, and best of all free Internet access. I settled in, got the Internet working, and drove through the rain over to the casino to see what was happening.

 

There was a super satellite starting in a couple hours but I didn't want to stay up so late playing it that I would be tired for the main event so I passed on it. Instead, I played a $1060 single-table satellite but busted in third place and got nothing so I forked over the cash to enter the main event.  When my plane landed I had set Garmin for the nearest Bank of America, picked the youngest and prettiest teller, and handed her a personal check for $10,000. "I'd like to cash this please." After the initial shock and consultation with her manager, she opened her drawer and chided me, "You're using up all my hundreds, you know." But behind the scolding there was a twinkle in her eyes as if they were subconsciously converting those hundred Benjies into the equivalent amount of bling-bling. I turned around as I left to see if she was following me home After I bought in I returned to the Wyndham, played a little on-line poker, and rested up for tomorrow.

 

There were 538 players in the LA Poker Classic Championship, fewer than in several other big events this season but well above last year's 382. I drew table five, seat three. Out of 537 others I got the best player in the world, John "JJ" Juanda, on my left in seat four. The unbluffable Barry Shulman sat to his left in seat five. I didn't recognize anyone else at the table, but with those two on my left my friskiness was limited.

 

I chipped up to 11,350 from the starting 10,000 by the first break after level one but the chips dribbled away to 7800 by dinner. Both JJ and I folded several hands to a guy in seat six who kept chasing draws and hitting them, or at least representing that he hit them. Dinner was the second-worst buffet I'd ever had, the first being at the Hollywood Hotel in Tunica. At least they comped it.

 

After dinner Barry Shulman called big bets from a very tight kid in seat 10 on the flop and river with a weak Ace, catching his kicker on the river and busting the kid's Ace-King. That sent seat 10 on tilt and he threw away the rest of his chips after the flop with unimproved pocket Deuces in a three-way pot where the other players had monsters. That took out seats nine and 10 and seat one busted shortly thereafter. Jimmy "Jimmy Jimmy" Cha, who had busted me once and I him once in big events, took seat 10. JJ splashed in his last chips and lost a race so he was out, replaced in seat four by Raymond Davis. Then I picked up pocket Tens on the button and raised the 200 blind to 1000. Mr. Draw-chaser called on the big blind and the flop came King-Seven-Deuce with two Clubs. I bet 2000 of my remaining 5800 into the 2300 pot and he called. Then the Eight  of Clubs came. We both checked. The river looked harmless but my opponent picked up his huge stack of 500 chips and slammed them on the table. It was 3200 to call to win 9500 and I figured there was a good chance he was bluffing so I called. Nope. He turned over the Ten-Nine of Clubs for the Flush and I was out of the contest in 380^th place. This was the first time I could remember going out because I was calling what I thought was a bluff on the river and although I was wrong at least I went out in an advanced way.

 

I checked out of the Bizarro hotel and went to Vegas.