A big event with no TV: A Bellagio $5150 No-Limit Hold 'Em Warmup

Table from hell

I decided I needed more practice against the world's best No-Limit Hold 'Em players so I entered the $5150 No-Limit Hold 'Em event at Bellagio even though it wasn't televised. The juice, including 3% in lieu of tips, was $300 or 5.8%. There were 169 entrants, less than half of what they got at the televised Reno event, but still a large field by historical standards.  I drew the table from hell to start, with six very tough players and two I didn't know. My current nemesis Scott "Empty Seat" Fischman sat to my left in seat one. A woman named Debbie had seat two, then Two-time WPT finalist Phil "Unabomber" Laak in seat three, WPT champ Paul "Pretty Boy" Phillips in seat four, Reno finalist Young Phan in seat five, Fred Berger in seat six, David "The Dragon" Phan in seat seven. An experienced pro whom I hadn't met, Alex Roberts, sat to my right in seat eight. I lost 2000 of my starting 10,000 chips sending messages to Scott and The Dragon that I wouldn't be pushed around, and I was down to 7000 when I had to dash across the street to Paris to play my final session in their Million Dollar Slot Tournament. I stayed one more hand to play my button, though, and found the Ace-King of Spades and raised. Debbie called and I ended up winning 1000 or so back when I caught an Ace on the Turn to beat her Pair of Sixes.

 

I didn't win the million so I came back and battled at the table from hell until I found a Pair of Queens in middle position and made a standard raise. Scott Fischman reraised me. I looked into his soul but saw only an empty seat so I moved all in. He called with Aces but I flopped Queen-Nine-Nine and doubled up to 15,000. Anyone can have skill but it takes luck to win a tournament. I knew I'd be on the wrong end of that bet four out of five times but I was grateful still to be alive.

 

They broke us and I moved to a table with only three players I recognized: Steve "Z" Zolotow on my left in seat one, John "JJ" Juanda in seat two, and Meng "The Ninja" La in seat seven. Meng paid me off 3500 when I caught a Straight on the river in a three-way pot that was checked almost all the way down. As I had hoped, he called me with a Pair, thinking I was trying to buy the pot with nothing. Then seat eight limped under the gun and I limped right along with Ace-King of Spades. Steve Z took the opportunity to move all in with a Pair of Sevens for 6000 more. It folded to me and I called, making a Flush on the River and knocking out the Zee man. I won another small pot and was up to a high point of 35,000 when Scotty Nguyen and Howard Lederer sat down. I fortunately went card-dead then and didn't have to play against the world champions. When they broke the table, with 45 people left, I had 30,000 chips, a bit below average.

 

My new table had me in seat two, Gary Lent, who had won a big pot from me at the Sands, in seat five, Chad Layne in seat nine, and Gabriel Thaler, a young high-stakes player, in seat one to my right. Gabriel was raising a lot of pots and when I saw Jack-Ten of Clubs on the button I moved all in for the re-steal. Unfortunately the Big Blind woke up with pocket Queens and took half my stack. Gabriel was not amused when he saw my Jack high. The Blinds and Antes were going up and up and up and by the dinner break I was down to 9600. I figured I might be out on the first hand after the 90-minute break but I walked across the street to Paris and saw the five Million-Dollar finalists play their round and had a nice steak at the banquet with Shortstack.

 

When I returned I perhaps foolishly called all in from the Pocket Queens guy with King-Nine of Spades. He only had Tens this time but I caught runner-runner Nines on Fourth and Fifth Streets and doubled up. Then Barry Shulman sat down in seat seven with a nice stack, playing a lot of pots as was his style. I didn't tangle with him but when seat eight raised the 800-1600 Blinds to 5500 and Gabriel called, I saw Ace-King offsuit and moved in for 19,200. Seat eight folded but Gabriel decided to call with a Pair of Fours. They held up and I was out of the contest, finishing 36^th.

 

Five-Star Warm-up: Bellagio $2600 No-Limit Hold 'Em

Tens again

Las Vegas was having their annual thundershower and the airport was closed briefly Friday afternoon but the brief disruption wrought havoc with all the flights. Our America West flight from Reno was canceled and my brother Mike, Andy "The Rock" Bloch and I bought tickets on Southwest for the next available flight, which was four hours later and delayed two hours on top of that. Since it was an expensive last-minute ticket we were "randomly" selected to have our belongings rifled through – Mike and I were, anyway. The Rock knew people in Washington and he breezed through, getting the very last standby seat on an earlier flight while Mike and I played Chinese Poker to pass the time. Finally the air-traffic hold on Vegas was lifted and a couple bags of peanuts later we were back in Sin City.

 

Bellagio was holding a series of poker tournaments with a minimum $2600 buy-in leading up to the big $25,300 buy-in World Poker Tour Championship. I entered event No. 1, a $2600 No-Limit Hold 'Em tourney. To my astonishment a staggering 361 people entered! Last summer there were exactly 40 people entered in an identical event. Thank you, World Poker Tour. The juice was $175 or 6.7% including the money held in lieu of tips, a bit high for a big tournament but hey, it was the Bellagio. The series was called the Five-Star Poker Classic (not to be confused with the Five-Diamond Poker Classic in December), named after the fact that a restaurant in Bellagio had received the highest rating from an oil company. Somehow they had passed over Binion's Horseshoe.

 

I drew a tough table to start the tourney with tourney regular Raymond Davis on my right and two-time WPT finalist Hoyt Corkins two seats to my left. I stayed out of pots with Hoyt and managed to take quite a few chips from Raymond when I flopped trip tens and he called me down with pocket Jacks. They moved our table en bloc out of the poker room into the expanded tournament area on the casino floor but then they broke the table and moved me back into the poker room, then once again moved the whole table back out again. I was getting dizzy but my chips were intact.

 

I ended up with the chip leader, Vegas pro Chad Layne, and a tough young Internet player, Scott "Empty Seat" Fischman, glued to my left hip for hours, inhibiting my friskiness. Then Erik "Rounders" Seidel sat down at my right. Fortunately he was very short stacked. He eventually called an opening raise, all in for his meager 1850 remaining chips. I saw pocket Tens, the hand I knocked out Phil Ivey with in Reno, and moved all in. The opener folded and my Tens held up over Erik's Ace-Queen and he was out. Just call me Johnny Chan.

 

I finally got moved away from Chad but not Scott and slowly grew my stack from the starting 5000 to 20,100 by the dinner break. The three of us, Chad's beautiful wife, and Andy "The Rock" Bloch sat together at the buffet that Bellagio was kind enough to comp everyone who made it that far. I told Chad how much I appreciated the warm welcome I got from most of the experienced tournament players but The Rock told me it was because I was a fish.

 

With the blinds up to 800-1600 and a 200 ante I didn't have much room to maneuver but I caught a few hands and doubled up to 40,000 on the nose. Then, with the blinds 1000-2000 and a 300 ante, I caught my Hand of the Month: pocket Tens. Sure, I knocked out Phil Ivey and Erik Seidel with them but I had also lost most of my chips with to Tony Bloom in Reno with them. In middle position, I cautiously made it 6000, hoping for a re-steal attempt, but Steve Ford on the Small Blind just called. The flop came Nine-Seven-Five and Steve bet out 15,000. I was pretty sure I had the best hand so I moved in for an additional 19,000 and he beat me into the pot. I waited for him to flip over his Set but all he had was pocket Eights, making me a three-to-one favorite. He had only six outs to beat me: the two remaining Eights and the four Sixes, which would give him a Straight. The Turn was a blank but the Six of Spades came on the River and I was out of the contest, finishing 35^th, eight from the money.

 

I entered the $2600 Omaha Hi/Lo event the next day but then I remembered I didn't know how to play that game and was out quickly. I flew back to Seattle to get clean laundry and Paul "Beanie" Nobles messaged me to play in the UltimateBet satellite for a seat in the Paris World Poker Tour event in July. I ended up winning it. Beanie came in second. "That's the last time you'll ever tell me about a tournament," I joked. Ah, poker in the comfort and privacy of your armchair. Thank you, Congress, for not making it illegal yet. I think.

 

The Biggest Little Tourney in the World: The 2004 Reno World Poker Challenge

Roller Coaster

I brought Shortstack and my brother Mike, visiting from his home in Chiang Mai, Thailand, to the Biggest Little City in the World to hang out while I played in the penultimate season-two World Poker Tour event, the World Poker Challenge at the Reno Hilton. The folks at the Hilton knew us well since we had been coming here for years and they gave us one of the truly luxurious wine suites replete with sunken Jacuzzi tub, dual Italian-marble sinks, and plasma TV. High-speed Internet, of course, was a must for all of us and I plugged in Lionfish, with Shortstack and Mike connecting peer-to-peer sharing the Internet connection.

 

I entered a warm-up tournament and a super satellite for the main event but had no luck in either. I had lost my lucky souvenir chip from the small Tunica tournament Andy "The Rock" Bloch and I cashed in and I was afraid the poker gods were angry. I hoped my luck would improve in the main event, a $5100 buy-in No-Limit Hold 'Em tourney with $100 entry fee and 3% taken out in lieu of tips. That made the juice a relatively reasonable 4.9%. During the several days we were there before the main event started we dined mostly in the Hilton's excellent steakhouse, the highlight being the very lean and delicious elk steak. We sampled the 1999 Etude Cabernet Sauvignon, fruity and delicious, the 1999 Dunn Howell Mountain, which we thought a bit uneven, and the 2001 Caymus, dark and chocolaty but otherwise uncomplex and perhaps needing a bit more time in the bottle. 2001 was said to be a banner year for California Cabernet and I was looking forward to trying many more.

 

Tournament director Jimmy Sommerfeld, who had a rolling Southern accent that could just rock you to sleep, was famous for starting on time and even this 342-person event started at noon on the dot. I drew table 34, seat eight to start the tourney. No stars were at the table but the players weren't pushovers either. Early in the first level, 25/50 Blinds, I found pocket Aces in early position and made it 150 to go. Alan Myerson called me in the Big Blind and when the flop came King high he bet out 500. I took Doyle Brunson's advice and, with no obvious draws on the board, played it slow by just calling. The Turn was the Nine of Diamonds, pairing the board and making two Diamonds. Alan bet 1000 and I called, still thinking he had something like King-Queen or King-Jack. I might have raised to see if he had trip Nines or better here but I didn't want to get so many chips into the pot and have him put me to the test for all my chips. The River was a third Diamond but no obvious help to anyone. Alan bet 3000 and I called. I was right about his hand – King-Ten – but they were Diamonds. He had made a back-door flush and took the pot down. I had lost half my stack. Where was my lucky chip?

 

I played very tight for the rest of the level, not getting any good hands and not wanting to get too frisky while I was upset over my Aces getting cracked. I called Alan's raise on the Big Blind with his King-Ten of Diamonds and laughingly folded it face up when he raised the low flop. But I hurt inside. The only thing that could salve my wound was another pair of pocket Aces and sure enough they came and I raised the standard amount. Ron Livingston on my left reraised me and I pretended to think about it for a bit before moving all in. He called with Jacks and I doubled up on him back to just over my starting 10,000. A dark cloud lifted and I was back in the game. I got a little frisky and had 13,000 at the dinner break.

 

Andy "The Rock" Bloch had arranged dinner at Andiamo, the Italian restaurant in just about every Hilton around the world. I introduced my brother Mike to the all-star cast: Chris "Jesus" Ferguson, Steve Brecher, Howard "Bub" (The Professor) Lederer, Erik "Rounders" Seidel, Clonie Gowan, John "JJ" Juanda, and Avi "Wookie" Freedman. Steve Brecher's friend Tyler was there and said he liked my Lion Tales although he wished I'd talk more about the food. Howard didn't like to eat much at dinner because, he said, it slowed him down. I liked to eat at any time and had a nice assortment of appetizers and the filet mignon, medium rare. There was no wine because we were playing and dinner for eleven came out to about what we normally spent on dinner for two with wine, an all-too-sobering thought. As a rule I don't eat dessert but they had the chocolate Galliano cake a la mode so I had just one order.

 

After dinner I got another crack at the aggressive Alan Myerson when I called his raise on the Big Blind with the tricky hand of King-Queen. The flop came Jack-Nine-Six rainbow. I checked and he bet only 300, not enough to get me to fold the inside Straight draw. I called and –  Bingo! My Ten came on the Turn. He bet 1000 and I made it 4000 because there was a Flush draw now and I didn't want him catching another back-door Flush. He called. The River was a blank and I moved all in, hoping he'd think I was making a move and not put me on making an inside Straight draw. He didn't take the bait and mucked, but I had won back almost exactly the same chips he had taken from me earlier.

 

I was up over 14,000 but that was my high point for a while. I had to lay down hand after hand and was down to just over my starting 10,000 when Bob Slezak in seat two busted out and was replaced by the very dangerous Prahlad "Devastator" Friedman. I avoided playing pots with him and he only stole my blind once but by the time the table broke I was down to 8500 chips.

 

My new assignment was table 50 seat eight, which put me to the left of top tournament pro Amir Vahedi. Amir, whose trademark was an omnipresent unlit cigar, tested me right away, raising my Big Blind from his Small. I had a decent hand so I reraised him all in and he mucked. I was back over 10,000. Then Ronnie Ebanks in seat five raised in middle position. I called for time and chewed a little, then reraised all in with pocket Kings. He thought for a couple minutes and then called with Jacks. My cowboys held up and all of a sudden I had 23,000 chips.

 

The blinds were 400-800 now and I was down to just over 20,000 chips when Amir raised from two off the button, making it 3000. I saw Ace-Jack of Diamonds and called with position on him, thinking I likely had the best hand since he liked to play any two face cards. It was heads-up and the flop came Jack high, two Clubs. Amir checked to me and I moved all in, not wanting to risk another Club falling on the Turn. Amir had a good draw and called with King-Nine of Clubs but my Jacks held up and all of a sudden I had 43,000. Whee! I went back and forth a little but ended day one with 42,800, just above average for the 94 players left. And I was in double digits for the sixth big-buy-in tournament in a row.

 

I had a chilled Gray Goose L'Orange and went to bed.

 

The Lion's Roar

I drew table eight, seat six to start day two and I found my lucky chip, which had been in an unusual pocket of one of my cargo pants. My table luck held out and once again there were no big names at my table. I got a little frisky and grew my stack to just under 100,000 without risking too many chips when three-time WPT finalist Phil Ivey sat down on my right. Since he was on my right it was easy for me to avoid him and they broke our table without me having to play a hand against him. It was down to 63 players and I got moved to table three, seat five. Unfortunately, now Phil Ivey was sitting on my left with a mountain of chips. He called when I opened with Ace-Queen and the Flop came Nine high. I bet and he called. The Turn was a blank and I check-raised him all in with nothing but overcards. He watched me for a couple minutes while I used Yogic state control to make myself unreadable. It worked and he finally mucked. I felt like Matt Damon bluffing Johnny Chan out of a pot in Rounders but Phil didn't ask what I had so I couldn't say, "Sorry, Phil, I don't remember."

 

Phil then started making a habit of opening under the gun on my Big Blind. I called with Seven-Six of Diamonds hoping for a monster Flop. It came Eight-Seven-Five, two Clubs. I wasn't crazy about the Flush draw but it was still a great Flop for me heads-up so I bet out.5000. Phil made it 15,000 and I called after a brief think. The Turn was the Ten of Spades. I checked. Phil bet 10,000 and I called. The River card was the Nine of Hearts. I checked and Phil bet 30,000. "Show me the Jack," I sighed, and threw in six orange 5000 chips. Phil tapped the table with his cards and said, "You got it." "I got it?" I said. "You got a Six?" he asked. I flipped over my hand and he threw his into the muck as the dealer pushed me the pot of 120,000.

 

I had 215,000 chips when we got down to 28 players and started going hand-for-hand. Phil Ivey had lost most of the rest of his chips to Londoner Tony Bloom on his left, bluffing all-in preflop with Queen-Nine suited against Tony's pocket Aces. Phil continued to raise under the gun with his short stack but the third time I called with pocket Tens and Phil was out on the bubble. The 27 of us left were guaranteed $9802 each. I breathed a sigh of relief, having taken care of another couple months of the cable bill.

 

With three tables left we redrew for seats. I stayed at table three but slid over to seat seven. I raised under the gun with Ace-Five of Clubs and got called by a local gentleman on the Big Blind. The flop came Nine-Five-Trey, two Spades. He checked. I bet out on the strength of my middle pair and he quickly called. The Turn was another Five. I was pondering my strategy when I heard, "I'm all in!" I figured he had trip Fives and thought I was on a Spade draw but unless he had a Nine or Trey with his Five, unlikely hands to call with preflop, I had him beat. "How much is it?" I asked, then, "Never mind. I call." I flipped over my trips with the Ace kicker and he turned over Ten-Nine of Diamonds. He needed one of the two remaining Nines but they didn't come and I took over 120,000 chips, busting him. I had 361,000 chips when we redrew for the final two tables with 18 people left.

 

Now I had Tony Bloom in seat one, Steve Brecher in seat two, Peter Muller, who had a beautiful white retriever with him, in seat three, me in seat four, Rosemary Maxfield in seat five, John "JJ" Juanda in seat six, Young Phan, who had given me trouble at the Sands, in seat seven, Paul "Eskimo" Clarke in seat eight, and Todd Brunson, son of poker great Doyle, in seat nine. Rosemary busted out almost immediately so now I had JJ and Young on my left, making friskiness difficult. I won another 55,000 or so from Londoner Tony Bloom in seat one when I held Eight-Seven suited, the Flop came Nine-Eight-Eight, and I ended up making a Straight. I had exactly 400,000 chips. I got out-friskied a few times by JJ and Young and when we broke for dinner I was down to 361,000.

 

Andy "The Rock" Bloch had set up dinner once again at Andiamo. This time we were joined by Chris "Jesus" Ferguson, John "JJ" Juanda, Paul "Beanie" Nobles, Avi "Wookie" Freedman, and Steve Brecher. Only Steve, JJ, and I were still in the contest and I was near the chip lead with almost twice the average count. I had the excellent beef carpaccio followed by a nice grilled salmon with the very sweet sauce on the side. As a rule I don't eat dessert but the chocolate Galliano cake had been lucky for me so I had just one. Despite protests, JJ left a Benjy to cover the $5 or so of food he ate and I stuck it with The Rock to figure out how to give it back to him.

 

After dinner they raced off the purple chips worth 500, leaving us with only the yellow 1000's and the orange 5000's, and the blinds went up to 3000/6000 with a 1000 ante. On the first or second hand Steve Brecher moved all in in second position for 99,000. I had Ace-King offsuit. Steve had been playing very tight and I decided that with only 18,000 in the pot I didn't really need to gamble 100,000 on a hand where it was unlikely I was a favorite so I mucked Big Slick. Later I saw Steve double up going all in with Queen high so I probably should have called. He had switched gears perfectly, getting me to lay down a big hand.

 

The blinds went up to 4000/8000 with a 1000 ante and I was down to 350,000 or so when Paul Muller limped on the Small Blind. I had King-Nine of Hearts on the Big Blind and I raised the size of the pot, 20,000. Paul quickly called. The flop came Jack high, two Hearts. Paul checked. I bet 40,000 on the strength of my Flush draw and overcard and he reraised all in for another 139,000. With two-to-one pot odds and what I thought were 12 outs, I called. He turned over King-Jack, eliminating three of my outs. It was almost exactly the same situation in which I won all those chips from Amir but this time I was on the wrong side of a busted Flush and just like that I was down to 150,000. If the Heart had come, which was just a bit worse than three-to-two against, I would have been the chip leader with 550,000 chips but now I was below average. I had been a Heart beat away from the final table.

 

Tony Bloom then opened for 24,000 in middle position. I saw pocket Tens on the button and heard Paul Phillips voice: "You don't win by making big laydowns late in the tournament." I reraised him all in. He turned over Aces, they held up, and I was down to the felt with 11,000. I was playing to win but with 11,000 chips I realized that if one more person busted out before me I'd make an extra $3000 in prize money so I kept that in mind. Nevertheless, on the very next hand I got pocket Deuces and bet the 10,000 I had left after the ante. Young Phan and Eskimo called and checked it down. "I have a pair!" I said. Young turned over King high. "I have a pair!" I said. Eskimo didn't catch any of the five overcards either and my baby Deuces held up! I quadrupled up to 39,000. "Watch out," I growled. Steve Brecher said, "The always-dangerous Quiet Lion has chips." I rolled my eyes. "Sometimes he's more dangerous than other times," I said.

 

I mucked a Seven-Three offsuit but then Eskimo made it 24,000 and I had Ace-Four so I moved in for 38,000. I got him heads up with Queen-Jack but my slight favorite faltered as Eskimo made three Queens and I was out of the contest. I finished 14^th for $16,337. I got sympathy from The Rock, Jesus, Clonie, and Avi, who had been cheering me on, but if I was somewhat disappointed I really didn't feel bad. This was a personal best for me. I had now cashed two WPT events in a row and held my own against Phil Ivey. April and May, the two biggest months in poker, were coming and the Quiet Lion was roaring.

 

Welcome to the Party: The 2004 PartyPoker Million Cruise

In the same boat

Shortstack and I spent the weekend in Vegas with my brother Mike prior to the Party Poker Million cruise out of San Diego so I booked three different flights to get us in at the last minute in case two of them were delayed. There was no problem with the earliest of the three, Southwest 101, so we used the kiosk to check in and breezed through secret security to concourse C. Many of the Vegas-based tourney pros had the same idea and we shared the flight with Mike "The Mouth" Matusow, Erik "Rounders" Seidel, David Benyamine, and Scotty Nguyen. Service on the short flight was limited to one drink in a plastic cup and the famous Southwest peanuts. We landed on time and an unhappy cabbie took us the short distance to the pier.

 

I had won an entry into this tournament through a $200 satellite on PartyPoker with 1069 entrants. The entry included a standard cabin but I slipped them a little something and got us upgraded to a Verandah Suite. By the time we got there most everyone was aboard so check-in didn't take very long. There was, however, a long line for the tournament registration. There were so many entrants that the first day of play was split into two flights on consecutive days. I drew day one. This was the only tournament on the World Poker Tour where they played Limit Hold 'Em, not the usual No Limit, and I was quite inexperienced with the game. Fortunately, top pro Allen Cunningham was in line ahead of me and I asked him how to play. He game me a bit of advice and I told him I'd be sure to credit him when I won. They handed me a bag of PartyPoker logo apparel and a Shana Hiatt pin-up calendar. I thought I might need a few extra calendars but Shortstack was dragging me by the pants leg onto the ship so I followed her.

 

We had stuffed everything for the week into carry-on bags to maximize our chances of making our flight so we unpacked and explored the ship rather than waiting for the bags to be delivered as usual. The Holland America Ryndam was much smaller than the Voyager of the Seas that had hosted the PokerStars Caribbean Adventure. PartyPoker had chartered the entire ship, though, so they were able to cordon off the entire upper half of the main dining room to make the most beautiful poker room on earth, or rather on sea, surrounded on three sides with picture windows into the ocean. We found Andy "The Rock" Bloch in the spa studying an egg-shaped machine that supposedly gave you the equivalent of a full night's sleep for 20 minutes spent inside but it reminded me of the Orgasmatron from the Woody Allen movie Sleeper. Erik "Rounders" Seidel was there getting himself into top physical condition by working out on the elliptical machine. Bit by bit, I was learning the secrets of the pros.

 

Soon it was time for the mandatory lifeboat drill. Shortstack and I donned life jackets and headed down to the boat deck where we were assigned the lifeboat right next to Shana Hiatt and her husband Jimmy Van Patten, brother of World Poker Tour host Vince. I thought there might have been some mistake and perhaps we should have been in the same boat but I was quickly hushed by the ship's officer and shoved back into formation, bouncing in my life vest gently against the surrounding passengers like a bumper car in a traffic jam. Soon the drill was over and we were underway.

 

Party Poker threw a nice cocktail party for us before dinner. Excited low-limit players from all over had won entries into this by playing on-line satellites and most of the top pros were here hoping they had a big advantage over them. We went up to the poker room before dinner and found poker legends T.J. Cloutier, Daniel Negreanu, Erick "E-Dog" Lindgren, and Josh Arieh playing a $20 buy-in Indian Poker tournament along with their wives and girlfriends. Indian Poker is the game where you're dealt one card and, without looking at it, put it up on your forehead for everyone else to see. Then you bet. A good time was had by all.

 

We ran into long-time pro Steve "Z" Zolotow, who joined us at the open-seating dinner with Andy, WPT producer Steve Lipscomb, and several of the WPT staff including Paul Hannum, the cameraman who had been taking sound bytes of me for weeks, saving them for when I finally made a final table. I thanked him for that. Dinner was quite good, especially for sailing day, in my experience often the weakest meal of a cruise. After dinner the kids headed up to the Crow's Nest for drinking and dancing but Shortstack and I retired to the suite to rest up for the big day.

 

It all went right

I drew table 12, seat eight to start the tournament. There were 272 people in flight one of the tourney and 274 in flight two tomorrow for a record WPT field of 546. Although it was announced as a record prize pool, it was actually slightly less than the LA Poker Classic because of a 3% deduction in lieu of tips. This made the juice an outrageous 9.5% or $710 per person in addition to whatever arbitrage they were making on the price of the cabins of the $1500 allocated in the satellite prize pools. Given that PartyPoker was making an order of magnitude more money than any casino in the history of poker I found this greedy vig to be somewhat distasteful. When we sat at our tables we were asked to sign an extremely broad release giving PartyPoker.Com the right to use our names, images, and biographies to promote anything they wanted, related or unrelated to this tournament and offering no compensation whatsoever. I politely declined to sign seeing as how I was paying them to be in the tournament rather than the other way around. They let me play anyway.

 

We had a table full of nice people but the only tournament regulars I recognized were Bob Feduniak, husband of Maureen Feduniak, who made the final table on last year's cruise, and Denny Axel, who used to run Card Player magazine until he sold it to Barry Shulman. I didn't have much experience playing limit but I played aggressive and hit my cards and found myself up to 9275 from the initial 7000 chips at the first break. Not a single player was eliminated in the first two levels but soon after we returned Matt Savage announced the first player out. About ten minutes later the great Phil Hellmuth, Jr., was eliminated and Erik "Rounders" Seidel and Chris "Jesus" Ferguson went by the wayside in the course of the next couple levels. Bob Feduniak didn't win a single pot and he was out early, soon followed by his lovely wife at the next table. Meanwhile, I was hitting flops like a madman, flopping the nut flush once for a nice pot, making an inside Straight draw on the Turn for Broadway, and then dragging down a huge pot when I made Four Eights and my opponent made a Flush on the River. By the next break I had almost tripled my starting stack to 20,300 chips.

 

The blinds went up but my cards didn't stop hitting. By the time they broke our table I had 45,000 chips and I got moved to table three. "Captain" Tommy Franklin sat to my left with about the same number of chips as me. I sat down in good position, one off the button, and immediately picked up three big starting hands in a row. Tommy raised his eyebrows, thinking I was playing like a maniac, but didn't have anything to play back at me with. However, when I picked up Pocket Kings on the third hand I got a call from the stylish April Moody from Toronto. I bet the Jack-high flop and she called and check-raised me when a blank came on the Turn. "Oh-oh!" said Tommy, "You don't know what you're getting yourself into!" Apparently April had been hitting Sets all night and as I called her down with my Overpair sure enough she turned over Pocket Sevens, matching a Seven on the board for the winner. There went the money I had won on the last two hands but it all went right from then on and I finished the day with an astonishing 64,500 chips, over nine times my initial stack. WPT cameraman Paul Hannum gave me the thumbs-up, happy that all his archive footage might finally get used. Kathy Liebert, winner of the PartyPoker Million I two years ago, said I had just about the same chips she had at the end of day one when she won it. Of course there were a lot fewer people in it that year. Anyway, I was bouncing off the walls and I didn't know how I was going to handle having a day off tomorrow. I wanted to play!

 

We snagged Andy "The Rock" Bloch away from a Chinese Poker game with Phil Hellmuth, Jr., who was in the process of buying and drinking every bottle of Dom Perignon aboard ship. Andy and Howard Lederer's wife Suzie joined us for dinner in the dining room. I took the waiter's recommendations and dinner was once again very good, much better, I thought, than the food on the last few Royal Caribbean and Carnival cruises I had taken and Shortstack concurred. I ordered the last bottle of 1999 Beringer Private Reserve, a steal at $85, and the four of us polished it off although they wouldn't let me pay in tournament chips. I was flattered to learn that Andy, who was mildly allergic to red wine, had had enough meals with me to decide the wines I ordered were usually worth a few sneezes. We shared a big round table with four nice people who had won satellites. We wished each other luck.

 

"Captain" Tommy Franklin had invited me up to do some karaoke in the Ocean bar at 11. I knew his plan was to get me liquored up and then lure me into playing Chinese Poker with him for $100 a point but I told him I was onto his Southern hick act and knew he had a Ph.D. in mathematics. He wrinkled his nose. In any case I was too tired to stay up another hour so I retired to the suite accompanied by Shortstack, who hummed the tune "Big Spender" all the way, occasionally bursting out with "Hey, chip leader!" I realized it was still a long way to the final table but I was in about the best position I could be. We slept soundly, smiling.

 

Guess who?

It turned out I was only in second place, with an Internet player beating my chip count by 3500. Nonetheless I was in great shape going into day two tomorrow. Today was a day off for me as Andy, Howard, Daniel Negreanu, Chip Jett, Gus Hansen and the rest played the second half of day one. I hung around the poker room and watched Gussie nurse his last 600 in chips for about two hours before finally putting them in on the small blind with a small Ace and running into Kathy Liebert's Big Slick. Chip Jett had built an impressive castle of purple and black but his luck turned and he ended up busting out before the end of the day. Andy didn't catch much and busted out early but my old nemesis Scotty Nguyen had a big stack. I played some Pot-Limit Omaha until it was time for dinner in preparation for perhaps entering those events in the upcoming Bellagio and Binion's extravaganzas in April and May.

 

We had made a reservation for four at the gourmet restaurant Pinnacle but by the time all was said and done we had a table for 10 and the Maitre D' had enough tips to buy a fleet of new tuxedos. Erik "Rounders" Seidel joined us for a farewell dinner, having decided to jump ship tomorrow in Cabo since there was no more poker for him. Our usual companion Andy "The Rock" Bloch was there as was the young Indonesian pro John Juanda and his girlfriend Nicole. Howard "Bub" (The Professor) Lederer and wife Suzie happily joined us and Steve "Z" Zolotow regaled us with stories from his colorful, if checkered, past. The tenth was a nice Iranian guy named Ali with whom I had just played Pot-Limit Omaha who generously let us expand into his table for one.

 

The food was good, the service was friendly but slow, and we sampled all the best Cabernets from the list: the 1998 Beringer Private Reserve, much more of a lightweight than its younger brother we drank last night; the 2000 Caymus, strong and chocolaty; and the 1999 Silver Oak Napa, yummy but extra oaky. Oak was a controversial flavor in the big California Cabernets. I didn't mind it but to Howard it tasted like pencil shavings. Andy asked Howard how he was doing and he flashed fingers to indicate he had 32,000 chips. I had to use both hands as I eagerly flashed back my chip count. "I know, I know," said Howard as he gave me a dirty look. Andy said, "It's the Andy Bloch effect. Whoever I have dinner with always wins the tournament." I said, "But I have dinner with you every tournament." "Oh," Andy said. I mentioned they would have to charter a bigger ship for next year and Howard said they already had, although it would still hold only about 700 players. Steve Z said soon they would charter the entire fleet and people would be crowing about how they made the final ship.

 

After dinner Shortstack went to bed early in preparation for an early fishing expedition and I went up to make the rounds with Andy, Suzie, and Steve. In the Ocean Bar we ran into Josh Arieh, who had unfortunately busted, and Erick "E-Dog" Lindgren, who have me a bear hug and said, "Guess who's sitting to your left tomorrow?" I was crazy about Erick, one of the nicest and most congenial young players on the Tour, but I wasn't thrilled about a past WPT winner sitting at my left when I was trying to preserve and build my stack. He only had about 13,000 chips so perhaps he wouldn't be too frisky.

 

I popped briefly up to the Crow's Nest, which was having disco night, but soon returned to the suite to rest up for tomorrow night's play.

A round of applause

The Ryndam docked at Cabo San Lucas Tuesday morning but I followed The Professor's advice and stayed on board to avoid getting wiped out by the sun. Howard said it was important to have his "A" game at 2:30 a.m. Of course I wasn't sure how much difference there was in my case between my "A" game and the rest of the alphabet but I figured it couldn't hurt to take advice from last year's champion. I napped most of the afternoon and by six I was fresh as a daisy and raring to go. Shortstack and I had dinner by ourselves in the ship's dining room. Tonight's menu had dishes named after the honchos aboard. Shortstack and I had the "Vince Van Patten" swordfish, passing up the "Mike Sexton" prime rib. Shortstack said, "How come your friend Shana Hiatt isn't on the menu?" I shrugged and smiled, resisting the temptation to say, "She must be dessert." It turned out she was, in the avatar of apple strudel, no sugar added. As we exited the dining room we saw her and her husband Jimmy eating with Andy "The Rock" Bloch and Chris "Jesus" Ferguson. There was a lot of apple strudel being ordered all over the dining room.

 

My new table was mostly unknown players with small stacks but E-Dog doubled up early on my left and became a royal pain in the side, calling when I tried to steal and raising under the gun when I had the big blind to get position on me. Bellagio poker-room manager Jack McClelland was playing rather than refereeing for a change and I lost some chips to him but got them back when my Pocket Jacks filled up on the River. I ran into two big hands and my 64,500 was down to a low of 21,000 when they announced we were all in the money. I had won at least $2000, my first cash prize on the World Poker Tour. My luck returned then because I flopped two more Sets and got my chip count back up to 80,000. I busted Gavin Smith when I cracked his Aces with a Set of Nines and another player called me down for all his chips, mucking when my pocket Kings held up. I had 120,000 when they broke the table and I was on top of the world.

 

I was singing and dancing at the prospect of E-Dog being gone from my left but my new table was a nightmare. The solid Jack McClelland was at my left and beyond him were Daniel Negreanu, the stylish Torontonian chip leader April Moody, and WPT Tunica champion Barry "Charity" Greenstein, considered by some the top poker player in the world. Barry wasted no time raising my Big Blind from across the table. It folded to me and I saw Ace-King of diamonds. "I'm gonna re-pop you, Barry," I said, visions of the final table dancing in my head, and shoved out 12,000 chips. He called and the flop came low. I led out for 4000 and Barry called. The Turn was another low card and I bet again, hoping he would lay down to the high pair I was representing. He thought a moment and called. The River was no help and I knew the only way I could win the pot was to bet so I put out another 8000. He looked again at his hole cards and reluctantly called. I turned over Ace high and he showed pocket Sevens to drag down the 64,000-chip pot. I quickly lost another 32,000 to Daniel Negreanu when I had the misfortune to get Ace-King again: this time Daniel had pocket Jacks.

 

Down to 55,000, I called the very loose Daniel a couple times with marginal hands when he raised my Big Blind but I couldn't catch a pair either time and bailed out. Then, with five tables left, they moved us all out into the big room so the spectators could see us play. To my horror, Erick "E-Dog" Lindgren came and took the empty seat between Jack and Daniel. "Table change!" I called out but it was not possible.

 

I was back down to 23,000 chips and the blinds were raised to 2500 and 5000. I had to play the first reasonable hand I got, and it would probably be my last. E-Dog raised my Big Blind as usual but the Small Blind called in front of me when I saw Pocket Eights. "Time!" I said. If I reraised here I would only have 8000 left. I let fear get the best of me and just called, planning to go for broke if only one overcard flopped and otherwise save it for one more shot. The Flop came Queen-Jack-Low and the Small Blind bet out. There was a decent chance he was trying to bluff two people but I decided not to risk it and mucked the Eights. Later I discussed the hand with The Rock and we agreed it would have been better to get the money in pre-flop when I probably had the best hand.

 

Finally, with 10,500 left, two red Threes in the Big Blind, and E-Dog raising in early position as usual, I reraised my last 500. "I'm all in!" I yelled. "Get the all-in cam!" Paul Hannum came hustling over and recorded for posterity as Erick turned over Ace-Five and flopped an Ace to leave me two outs. They didn't come and I was out of the contest, finishing 40^th out of 546 for $10,387. It was 2:05 a.m. To my surprise, there was a nice round of applause from the spectators. Paul said, "Did you hear that? It's the first time they've applauded for anyone."  It was also the first time I'd ever finished in the money in a big tournament. I got a Scotch in the casino bar and unwound till I finally crashed around 3:30.

 

Slave trade

Wednesday we docked at our second and last port, La Paz, Mexico. Shortstack and I took the free shuttle to downtown, where we walked around a bit and I told my hard-luck story to anyone who would listen, including Ken "Skyhawk" Flaton and his lovely wife Crystal. Around four in the afternoon the cruise director began to make a ship-wide announcement every 15 minutes that there would be a Calcutta for the 27 remaining finalists in the Ocean Bar at 6:30. Shortstack and I put on our square-dance outfits and showed up on time but it turned out not to be a dance at all but an auction of human beings reminiscent of the Calcutta slave trade. Phil Hellmuth, Jr., emceed and with a wireless mike in his hand he was a force to be reckoned with. So many people showed up they moved it to the movie theater. I wanted to buy Howard, but as last year's champion he went for a huge premium over his chip count and I knew better than to bet on a horse at short odds just because I thought he was the favorite. Andy "The Rock" Bloch and I went halvsies on the winning bid for Barry "Charity" Greenstein, whom we thought was underpriced because his WPT episode hadn't yet aired. Phil was so entertaining that the auction didn't end till just before the tournament resumed at eight. I went up and watched three people get eliminated before our 8:30 reservation at the Pinnacle, including the stylish April Moody from Toronto who lost three big pots when her starting hands didn't connect. That seemed to be the way to go out of these limit tournaments.

 

With Howard, Steve Z, and John Juanda still in the tournament, we had a few empty seats at our table for 10. Suzy invited the brilliant young player Allen Cunningham and Melissa Hayden and I asked the young Atlantan on-line player David "Gunslinger" Bach to join us after a brief interview to determine he had a sufficiently colorful and checkered past to fit in. He told us about how he put himself through college by bowling before switching to poker. None of us could top that, but after acknowledging his well-tempered blend of the physical and mental I casually mentioned that an old buddy of mine from Microsoft owned the Professional Bowler's Association. He knew him and said he was doing a great job. We went with the Beringer Private Reserve Cabernet 1998 again but Suzie was in the mood for Merlot so we got a bottle of the Beringer Howell Mountain as well. The wine had just been poured when a sheepish Howard "Bub" (The Professor) Lederer walked in. "Oh no!" I cried, but it was true. Howard, relatively short stacked, had gone out, losing his last few chips on a bizarre hand to Daniel Negreanu. Howard was on the big blind for 10,000 and Daniel raised him his last 4000 chips on the small blind. Getting six-to-one odds, Howard called the bet without looking at his cards. Daniel turned over two red Queens. Howard reached for his cards, resigned to being a big underdog, but flipped them over to reveal Pocket Kings! The Flop came all Spades and Howard had the King of Spades so the only card that could beat him was the Queen of Clubs. It came on the Turn and the River was a blank so Howard was out of the contest. We had all had a feeling he was going to do the impossible and repeat last year's win but it was not to be. A few minutes later Steve Z walked in but he was just on a break and was still nursing his 120,000 chips, picking his spots and surviving.

 

After dinner we alternated between the Ocean Bar, where much bad karaoke was taking place, and the tournament room, where much good poker was. Andy, Howard, and I sweated the last few players but it was our friend John Juanda who got knocked out on the bubble, leaving Internet player Chris Hinchcliffe the chip leader and perhaps the toughest competition in the history of the WPT as the other five: Steve "Z" Zolotow, Scotty Nguyen, our horse Barry "Charity" Greenstein, the very tough Daniel Negreanu, and in his third WPT final table of the year, the frisky Erick "E-Dog" Lindgren. Erick was on top of the world and demanded I come up to the Crow's Nest for a drink so I did. The guy with the longest working hours on the ship, cameraman Paul Hannum, was there and he kindly predicted that next year it would be me at the final table on the cruise because last year at this time Erick had made his radar screen the way I had this year. I thanked him but said I had a long way to go before I was in Erick's league. Chris "Jesus" Ferguson, who loved to dance, was up there, buoyant and friendly as always despite his long dry spell in the big tournaments. After three I congratulated Erick again and finally called it a night, leaving the night-owls still celebrating.

Two-timer

The final table didn't get going till 8 p.m. so I decided to try my luck at the cash games, having wet my feet at the Commerce Casino and come out OK. I played conservatively with just a little friskiness thrown in and came out a bit ahead without catching any really big hands. John "Napster" Fanning, inventor of the infamous eponymous peer-to-peer file sharing system, was fun to play with, splashing chips around and raking in huge pots when he had a real hand. The time flew by and soon it was time to dress up for formal night and the final table. Shortstack and I only brought pseudo-formal outfits on this trip because we only had carry-on luggage but for a poker player I looked like the King of Spain. No one got eliminated in the first half-hour and our horse Barry "Charity" Greenstein doubled up quickly to get right back in the race. We went back to the Pinnacle to have dinner with Suzie Lederer, Dave "Gunslinger" Bach, Allen Cunningham, Melissa Hayden, and others. As usual on these ships, the gourmet room's menu did not change but the filet mignon was yummy so I ordered it again. We went back to the 2000 Caymus Cabernet Sauvignon and I demanded Suzie let me pay the bill tonight, in which to my dismay she acquiesced. Tournament director Matt Savage popped in to tell us Scotty Nguyen had gone out first, finishing in sixth place.

 

After dinner I found Howard watching the final table and arrived just in time to see my horse Barry walking away from the table to a thunderous round of applause, the fifth-place finisher, bound for his vaunted interview with Shana Hiatt. After that was done I congratulated him and he needlessly apologized for letting me down, not only one of the most skilled poker players alive but one of the classiest.  Steve "Z" Zolotow, who had survived numerous all-ins against this tough field, finally busted out in fourth place to a nice quarter-million-dollar paycheck and sprinted over to Shana. Chris Hinchcliffe, the Internet player, had kept up the aggressive style that got him here but the cards hadn't come and he went from having half the chips to the short stack. He soon busted out in third place in a checked-down three-way pot that Daniel won with King high. It was heads up with Daniel and Erick and they were virtually even in chips but Erick got all the cards and won pot after pot to leave Daniel short stacked. Daniel hung in as long as he could but the night belonged to E-Dog and he walked away with the million-dollar first prize, picking up that night's bar bill in the crow's nest for the entire ship in celebration. Now a two-time WPT champ, he was destined for superstar status once his episodes aired. It couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

Second chance

They had a second-chance tournament on Friday, the last day of the cruise, so I entered it thinking I would have a big advantage at 9:30 in the morning. This tournament was a shoot-out, so I had to win my first table to advance to the next level. I ran up against a couple good hands and busted out fourth so I had the rest of the day to play cash games with John "Napster" Fanning, WPT host Vince Van Patten and actor James Woods. It was a lot of fun and time flew by till it was time for our final dinner in the Pinnacle. Howard and Suzie Lederer were there, along with fourth-place finisher Steve "Z" Zolotow, who picked up the check, Chris "Jesus" Ferguson and his girlfriend, and co-owner of Barry "Charity" Greenstein with me, Andy "The Rock" Bloch. We stuck with the 2000 Caymus Cabernet and I had the filet for the third night in a row. We crashed after dinner.

Dangerous alien

There was time for coffee and using up the last of my Internet minutes before debarkation started Saturday morning. I was listening to the public-address announcer, who had a voice mellifluous enough for the Metropolitan Opera, reel off the list of morons who had ignored the repeated requests to meet with Customs and Immigration, when I heard my own name. Moments later my cell phone rang and Shortstack was at the other end asking if I heard I was on the morons' list. I went up to the Crow's Nest, where Customs had set up shop, and found all the tournament winners of $10,000 or more being told they had to file currency-transportation forms. E-Dog was on a barstool, his million-dollar check in his pocket, filling out a form, and I filled one out even though the form was pretty specific that you only needed to fill one out if you were physically carrying currency or negotiable instruments across the border. I knew better than to argue with Customs and simply asked the nice lady if I had filled it out correctly. I wasn't too worried about it since I was almost certainly already on the Master List. Shortstack, as a dangerous Canadian alien, of course had already submitted to the cross-examination earlier.

 

Per the usual cruise-ship procedure, we were all issued numbered tags denoting our debarkation order. For some reason once the ship was cleared they called six groups at once and there was a huge backup at the exit. It was clear sailing once we left the ship though and we got pulled out of the taxi line by a Cloud Nine Shuttle, which whisked us to San Diego Airport in plenty of time for our 12:56 p.m. Alaska flight back to Seattle. There was no First Class or elite security line but we didn't have to wait long before we reached the crowded concourse. I was able to pick up a weak T/Mobile signal emanating from the Red Carpet Club and amused myself on the infinitely entertaining Internet while we waited.

 

Our flight was a bit over a half-hour late arriving from Seattle and the delay propagated to our departure. We settled into seats 1D and F and enjoyed superb service from our male flight attendant all the way to Seattle. It was just over a week till the next event in Reno and I was on a roll.

 

The 2004 Bay 101 Shooting Star Championship

A nice upgrade

Next stop on the World Poker Tour was at the Bay 101 Casino in San Jose, Calif., so Shortstack and I booked an Alaska Airlines nonstop and a hotel next to a shopping mall. Nobody flies Tuesday at 11:30 a.m. so we breezed through Sea-Tac security and ensconced ourselves in the Alaska Board Room until departure time. We settled into seats 1D and F and found water and peanuts waiting for us. Once in the air we had a choice of chicken sandwich or turkey salad. Alaska got us there on time and we took the shuttle to Enterprise Rent-A-Car, where the well-trained, well-dressed staff upgraded us from the Yugo we had booked to a white Ford Focus with manual windows and door locks and a cassette deck.I was pretty sure cassettes were obsolete five or 10 years before the Focus was introduced so something fishy was going on, maybe a reverse-chop-shop operation. We graciously accepted the upgrade nevertheless. We used manual Neverlost – printouts from Mapquest – to find the Courtyard by Marriott in beautiful Milpitas. We liked Courtyards because they had complimentary high-speed Internet. I bopped over to Bay 101 and ran into the man of the hour, Antonio "The Magician" Esfandiari, who made back-to-back final tables in the last two WPT events. I congratulated him. He seemed tired. Card Player Editor Jeff "Happy" Shulman, who had finished close but no cigar in the last two events, passed by with his beautiful girlfriend Christy. The poker room was packed. Actor James Woods sat at the 20-200 Hold 'Em table, trying his luck against World Champion Chris Moneymaker, top pro Kathy Liebert, and long-time pro Steve Zolotow. The waiting list was 30 players deep do I headed back to the hotel.

 

Shortstack and I had been eager to try celebrity chef Bradley Ogden's other restaurants, having enjoyed his Las Vegas location, so we made reservations at Parcel 104 in nearby Santa Clara. As we arrived we overheard a lady asking how she could get the same table again next time she came. "Ask for table 112," said the manager. A heartbeat later I said, "We'd like table 112 please." They set it up for us. It was just a regular table in the middle of the room so I didn't know what all the fuss was about. Shortstack had the tuna tartare and venison while I had a mussel-clam hot pot and rack of lamb. We washed it down with a half-bottle of Silverado Limited Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon 1997. As a rule I don't eat dessert but they had the Crazy for Caramel so I ordered just one with a couple pots of decaf tea. We returned to the hotel to rest up for the big day.

 

A penalty situation

There was a long line to sign the WPT release form and draw seat assignments but at the end of the line was a nice brunch buffet.  They gave us all Bay 101 paperweights made out of etched glass with Flipper in the middle. As it was the first trophy I'd won on the tour I carefully stashed it out in the rental car so I wouldn't lose it. I said hi to Howard "Bub" (The Professor) Lederer, Erick "E-Dog" Lindgren, and tournament director Matt Savage, who ungraciously refused to let me cut the line. After I reached the front I loaded up on semi-healthy food and looked to a table full of people I knew, passing by Men "The Master" Nguyen before settling into a seat next to Perry "The Baiter" Friedman. Rafe "Tiltboy" Furst sat across from me and Annie Duke was next to Rafe. It wasn't long before they called us to the tournament area and introduced the stars.

 

The format of this event was a little different: each starting table had a "Shooting Star" in seat five. The stars had bounties on their heads: whoever knocked one out received $5000. The buy-in for the tournament was $5000 plus a $200 entry fee so some of the people were thinking about winning the $340,000 first prize, some were hoping to rack up $5000 prizes knocking out stars, and I was thinking I was only going to lose $5000 instead of the usual $10,000 this week.

 

I got table 17 and my Star was the Champ himself, Chris Moneymaker. Chris and I had played together a couple of times and he said right off he knew better than to steal my blinds. My frisky image was paying off. Seats one and three were new faces but seat two was old-time pro Howard "Tahoe" Andrew and the tough "Tall" Phil Gordon, co-host of Celebrity Poker Showdown, filled seat four. Five was Moneymaker and sitting next to me in seat six was the beautiful Evelyn Ng, like my wife Shortstack from Toronto only taller. Evelyn had appeared in the Ladies Night episode of World Poker Tour. I complimented her on the nice segment they had done of her and former boyfriend and mentor Daniel Negreanu in the swimming pool. Although it was cold in the tournament area she wore a clinging cutoff tee leaving her slender midriff devilishly exposed in a blatant attempt to put her opponents on tilt. I was prepared and had a counter-strategy, which was not to look at her except under very special circumstances, like if it wasn't my turn to act or something. Seat eight was a young Asian man I didn't recognize and in seat nine was the very aggressive Randy Jensen, finalist at this year's Tunica WPT event. Rounding out the field was another aggressive pro, Mike "The Mouth" Matusow, a likeable, effervescent young man capable of huge bluffs. This table would be a true test of my friskiness.

 

True to his word, Chris hardly played a hand on my blind, which was unfortunate because I wanted a chance to bust him. He raised me one time but I had Woolworth – Five and Ten – so I mucked it after pretending to consider putting him all in. There was a lot of raising and a lot of folding at the table and from the 10,000 chips we started with I clawed my way up to 11,100 by the first break while Randy Jensen and Evelyn Ng were the first ones out. Evelyn was replaced by Card Player columnist Matt Lessinger, whose shirt covered his midriff completely. Randy got replaced by a pretty young Asian woman with a big diamond ring named Suzy K who claimed it was her first tournament. She quickly got involved in a big pot with Mike the Mouth. With a board of Nine-Seven-Seven-Queen-King, Suzy bet and Mike made a monster reraise all in. Suzy studied for a minute and then picked up her hand and laid it face up in front of her so everyone could see the Seven of Diamonds. Most of us at the table knew that was against the rules and quietly looked at each other. Finally Mike said, "I have a question." The dealer called Matt Savage over, who said Suzy would have a ten-minute penalty but her hand was live. That was fine with her as she called Mike's bluff and took down a 40,000-chip pot. Mike took it relatively well but commented that a 10-minute penalty didn't seem severe enough in this particular case. He fought valiantly but soon picked up pocket Kings versus pocket Aces and was eliminated. Meanwhile your hero stayed afloat through sheer friskiness and a couple pre-flop reraises with big pairs that didn't get called. I was up to 12,550 at the second break.

 

Moneymaker was playing tight as a drum and when he doubled up he had me covered so I could no longer eliminate him. The blinds and antes were going up and I didn't hit a flop nor did I care to bluff off all my chips against this tough field so I was down to 5000 when I won the final pot before they broke our table. I moved to Table 12 just in time to get Ace-King offsuit under the gun. I was un-racking and counting my chips, about 8000, and the Chinese woman on the small blind complained I was taking too long and had to ask for time. "Time," I said. With the blinds 200-400 and an ante of 50 I made it 2000 to go. It folded around to the complaining Chinese woman who promptly put me all in. The big blind folded and I studied her for a few seconds, trying to decide if she had Aces. I couldn’t tell so I called. She turned over Ace-Jack of Spades and said, "Good hand." The flop came Deuce-Deuce-Trey, no Spades. The turn came a Five so a Four would split the pot. "No Four!" I shouted, and the river came a Jack. I chided myself for rooting against the wrong card but it was too late: I was out of the contest. I finished 126^th of 243, breaking my four-tourney streak of double-digit finished and not even beating half the field.

 

I did, however, outlast Erik "Rounders" Seidel, Andy "The Rock" Bloch, movie star and writer John Favreau, and last year's Lucky Chances WPT winner Paul Darden. Andy joined us for dinner at Michael Mina's restaurant Arcadia, located in a different Marriott, this one in San Jose. The place was nearly empty on a Wednesday night. The menu had some items from Mina's other restaurants, including the Tuna Tartare from Aqua, our favorite, and the Lobster Pot pie and Lobster Corn Dogs, neither of which I cared for. They brought out a superb amuse-bouche, a pan-roasted prawn on a bed of mashed potato. Andy and I started with the Tuna Tartare while Shortstack had a salad. They brought delicious warm bread with the three different flavored butters like at Nob Hill. For the main course Shortstack had a double order of the Tuna Tartare, Andy had Chips on Fish, a beautiful presentation of pan-fried fish with potato chips on top. "Hey," we all said in unison, "they forgot to take the scales off the fish!" I had Chicken-Fried Steak, a yummy dry-aged Nebraska sirloin wrapped in a potato crust that was a bit too rich for me. We washed it down with the 2000 Plumpjack Cabernet Sauvignon. Naturally we skipped dessert.

 

We returned home and changed our flight to go back tomorrow. Next stop: The Party Poker Million cruise to Mexico.

 

You're that guy, right? The 2004 WPT Celebrity Invitational

Free ice cream

I played a little live No-Limit Hold 'Em at the Commerce Casino along with Haralabos "Bob" Voulgaris and some other folks I didn't know to get some practice in before the World Poker Tour Celebrity Invitational Tournament to which, as the author of Lion Tales, I was of course invited. It turned out the well-groomed black man in the green workout suit sitting to Haralabos's left was one of the celebrities, Morris Chestnut, a movie actor who made his debut in the critically acclaimed 1991 movie Boyz N the Hood.  I won a nice pot from Haralabos and we both cashed out to go up to the pre-tournament cocktail party.

 

It was a celebrity event for poker players as well as Hollywood personalities: Howard "Bub" (The Professor) Lederer was there, as were Chris "Jesus" Ferguson, Andy "The Rock" Bloch, Erick "E-Dog" Lindgren, Paul Phillips, Annie Duke, and many more. They had a nice spread of hors d'oeuvres including sushi and cherries and they had an open bar, I supposed out of deference to the celebrity nature of the event. I recognized a few of the celebrities: Ron Livingston and Willie Garson from Sex and the City, movie actress Mimi Rogers, and Saturday Night Live performer Norm MacDonald. Of course the lovely Shana Hiatt was there interviewing luminaries and soon the room was packed to overflowing. When we checked in we got our table and seat assignments on red plastic hospital wristbands while the stars got "All Access" badges to wear around their necks. That was good since I was able to tell the celebrities easily as they were the ones with circulation in their wrists.

 

I got assigned table eight, seat one to start. We had two celebrities at the table, only one of whose identities I discovered: Adam Corolla, host of the Loveline radio show, was in seat four. However, there were five others at the table who were more of celebrities to me: in seat two was TJ Cloutier, the winningest tournament player of all time. Seat five was Lyle Berman, founder of the World Poker Tour and winner of three gold WSOP bracelets. In seat six was Christer Johansson, winner of WPT season one's Paris event. In seat nine was Thor Hansen, finalist at the Showdown at the Sands, and in seat ten was Erick "E-Dog" Lindgren, winner at Aruba. All five had won WSOP or WPT events.

 

I started out being frisky and hitting some cards and won several small pots, including one against E-Dog in which I flopped Two Pair but inadvertently raised less than I wanted to because I mistook the chip values, pricing him into the pot with a Straight draw. Fortunately it didn't hit and I took the pot when he folded on the Turn. The empty seat three got filled by someone I actually recognized, Richard Kind, the well-known character actor from the TV series Mad About You and Spin City. Richard held his own but Adam sputtered out, building a single remaining chip up to a decent stack but then being busted by yours truly when he called my pocket Kings with Ace-Queen and got no help. By the time they broke our table I had increased my stack by 50% to 15,575. Many of the big names were out early, not entirely unrelated to the fact that there were some big juicy games going on downstairs what with the celebrities and all.

 

The new table, 8, had two celebrities: Stephen Collins, from the TV show Seventh Heaven, and Joshua Morrow, from the soap opera The Young and the Restless. There were only three world champions at this table, though: TJ, still glued to my left hip in seat four, Billy Baxter, who had eliminated me from the big event a couple days ago across the table in seat seven, and John Juanda, winner of 11 major tournaments and voted best all-around player twice in the last four years, in seat eight. Matt Savage, the highly respected tournament director of the World Series of Poker and other big events, sat to my right on the other side of Collins in seat one.

 

I looked hard for opportunities but the blinds and antes were going up so fast in this novelty tournament that I was below 10,000 chips before I knew it. Juanda raised my blinds a couple times and I decided not to re-pop the best player in the world with my garbage hands after I saw him call Matt Savage's busted-Flush bluff on the river with Ace-King and win the pot with no pair. I got Ace-Queen offsuit but Billy Baxter, the tightest player at the table, had raised in early position and I figured there was a good chance I was behind so I mucked. Finally it folded to me on the button just as Card Player columnist Jan Fisher arrived to take Joshua's seat. With less than two orbits left before I got blinded off I pushed my remaining 6000 chips in with Ten-Seven offsuit, hoping TJ and Jan would fold. Of course Jan didn't know that I hadn't played a hand in the last hour but it didn't matter as she called and turned over Ace-Ace, Alaska Airlines, ready to fly me back to Seattle because I was out of the contest.

 

The waitresses were passing out goodies provided by the sponsors of this event, including Solé water and Silhouette low-fat ice-cream sandwiches. As a rule I don't eat dessert but since they were low fat I had just two. Andy busted out just in time to have dinner with Card Player publisher Barry Shulman, his fiancée the writer Allyn Jaffrey, and me. We got a nice if cramped table at Crustacean, a trendy Beverly-Hills Euro-Chinese restaurant-place-to-be-seen. Barry's son Jeff "Happy" Shulman, Card Player editor, was still in the tourney with a nice stack and so could not join us but he called halfway through dinner to report his misfortune, busting out in 19^th place. The lights went out halfway through dinner but the 1997 Beringer Private Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon kept us lit up. As a rule I don't eat dessert but since the lights were out they comped us a Raspberry Affaire and a sorbet sampler so I had just a few bites and a nip of the Far Niente Dolce. It was raining Cattaraugus and dogs as we found our way through the gilded maze of Beverly Hills to the frontage road that was Commerce. Next stop: San Jose.

 

It Rains in Southern California: The 2004 Los Angeles Poker Classic

I caught a rush

I had a coupon for a free weekend from Hertz so I booked a trip to Vegas right before the next World Poker Tour event, the Los Angeles Poker Classic No-Limit Hold 'Em Championship at the Commerce Casino. Hertz had upgraded me to a black Lincoln Town Car so I got a Starbucks and drove it around town a bit after spending several minutes finding the very hidden latte holders, before returning it early Saturday morning at McCarran Airport. It was cool and drizzly in Las Vegas so I felt right at home. To my surprise the "free" rental turned out to be actually free: there were no nickel-and-dime charges of any kind. The agent said, "Sir, your total is zero dollars and zero cents." I said, "Must be my trick ear. Sounded like you said, 'Zero dollars and zero cents.'" The agent affirmed it. Some people are fond of "I love you" but my three favorite words are "No charge, sir."

 

I checked in at the Northwest Airlines kiosk and breezed through First Class security at the D gates. I had seat 2C on the Airbus 320 and there were only three other occupants of First Class although economy was about two-thirds full.  The coffee was on so I got a Styrofoam cup before liftoff but the flight attendants told me Northwest didn't allow use of laptops while the plane was sitting on the ground with the door open – although they did allow cell phones! I didn't see the point but rather than be escorted off the plane by Federal marshals I powered down Lionfish and stuck it in the seat pocket. I got a second warning when the flight attendant saw the stand-by light flashing and had to turn Lionfish completely off so the flashing light didn't interfere with the delicate navigational system. I asked if I should turn off my watch too. Apparently watches were OK. Once airborne I got an actual mug of coffee and a glass of water plus all the foil bags of almonds and pretzels I could eat. When Shortstack and I lived in Marina del Rey we had taken this flight, on several different airlines but mostly the now-defunct National, dozens of times. Although National served a hot breakfast on this 42-minute segment they never made time like these guys: the eight o'clock flight took off at 8:03 and we landed 20 minutes early in LA. I went to Hertz and picked up a nice Toyota Camry, not free, with Neverlost to take me to Commerce. It was cloudy and cool in LA and the shuttle driver told me it had been raining and they were expecting more.

 

I checked into the Wyndham Hotel Commerce, conveniently located in an outlet mall a half-mile from the casino, and made sure the Internet access worked before proceeding to the tournament. They weren't taking signups yet but I ran into Erik "Rounders" Seidel and we got some brunch while I quizzed him on pot-limit Omaha. By the time we were done they were ready to register us so I filled out the WPT release form one more time, hoping this would be the time they needed it.

 

Every World Poker Tour event was breaking records these days and as the staff at Commerce attempted to adjust to the huge field of entrants we started a stunning 90 minutes late. It was a new record for entrants, 382, and a new record prize pool of $3.7 million. Commerce took only a very reasonable $100 entry fee out of the $10,000 buy-in, making its 1% juice by far the lowest on the tour for me so far.

 

I drew table four, seat three to start the event. The only super-aggressive player, other than the new frisky me, at the table was 2002 US Poker Champion John "World" Hennigan in seat nine. Johnny World got a big bluff called by a guy named Caldo in seat five and was almost down to the felt before recovering nicely with a couple of big pocket Pairs. To my left in seat four was Dan Dumont, who had been at the Phil Hellmuth, Jr., table with me at the Sands. The charming Marla Schwartz was in seat seven, making sure she knew everyone's name and lobbying for the benefit to the poker world of a woman (her) making the final table. She put a bad beat on Dan, hitting a five-outer on the River and taking most of his chips. I took the rest of them when he had the misfortune to pick up pocket Kings against my Aces. We went all in before the flop and his miracle didn't come so he was out.

 

Johnny World eventually busted and was replaced by 1998 World Series of Poker winner Scotty Nguyen, whom I wasn't too worried about because he tended to play very tight early and anyway I owned him since I had eliminated him at Bellagio one time. After seat six busted out just before the first break he was replaced by the tough Peter "The Poet" Costa. I won some chips from Peter, who couldn't seem to hit a flop against me and couldn't call my raises out of position. I played aggressive and hit some hands and ended up with 25,000 chips by the dinner break thanks to many small pots and two nice sized ones versus Peter and Marla.

 

The Commerce was kind enough to give us complimentary buffet coupons so I had dinner with Hoyt "Mr. All-In" Corkins, who had already made two final tables in season two. On the way to the buffet I saw Shana Hiatt setting up for a shot in front of the main casino. I gave her a smile and wink and she stopped what she was doing and game me a huge smile and wave. I thought I might be leading the poor girl on so I made a mental note to take the charm down a notch or two.

 

Most of the chips at the table were being accumulated by me and the guy to my right, Joon "Mike" Lee. One benefit of my newfound friskiness was that no one was messing with me. The couple times that Mike or Greg in seat one raised my big blind I had decent hands and reraised so they laid down. Neither Mike nor I wanted to bust out on a big gamble with each other's big stack when there were so many small stacks at the table to pick on. Towards the end of the day I got an amazing run of cards. I picked up pocket Queens three times in four hands but won only the blinds and antes twice and had to lay down to Peter when an Ace hit the flop and he bet. I was up to 30,000 when I got pocket Kings against Marla. She called on the big blind and the Flop came Jack-Four-Four. She bet out 2000 and I made it 6000. She deliberated a bit and then called. I didn't think she would call preflop with Ace-Four so I put her on Ace-Jack. Of course it was possible she had pocket Fours or Jacks, in which case I was in big trouble. I was hoping she'd call off all her chips with top Pair but when an Ace hit the Turn and she checked I was pretty sure she had me beat and wouldn't lay it down so I checked behind. Another Ace hit the River. She moved in and I immediately mucked. The Cowboys had cost me 25% of my hard-earned stack. Marla came around, gave me a little hug, and said I was a great player. Later she told me she had Ace-Four so the Ace on the Turn actually saved me a bundle.

 

Then I got Queens again and lost another 3500 when an Ace hit the flop and I didn't realize the new guy who had taken the busted Caldo's place in seat five was in the pot along with Scotty Nguyen and me. He called my 2500 bluff when an Ace hit the flop although Scotty folded as I thought he would and I gave up on the pot. Then I got Ace-King against an Asian kid named Tommy, who had come in to replace Frank in seat eight and who had been moving all in with his short stack with alarming frequency. I wasn't going to lay this down against him but I didn't get help and he doubled up on me with pocket Tens. Now I was down to 15,000 and ready to scream. How could I catch a rush like this and lose half my stack? Last hand of the night I saw two red Aces. I thought about pushing all in and trying to sucker someone into thinking I was on tilt but I just made a standard raise to 1100. Tommy called on the big blind. The flop came Ten-Six-Five rainbow. He checked and I bet 2500. He check-raised me the minimum, 2500 more, and I quickly moved all in, hoping he would think I was trying to run over him and hoping he hadn't flopped a Set. When he didn't call right away I knew I had him beat. I made the monkey face so he couldn't read me but he finally folded, at least giving me some of my chips back. I finished the day with a disappointing 22,250.

 

WPT Leading money winner Gus Hansen was out, along with T.J. Cloutier and Phil Ivey. Superstar Andy "The Rock" Bloch had 56,000 chips. "You think that means you're better than me, don't you?" I asked. He smiled and shrugged. Steve Brecher, who was eliminated, and Avi "Wookie" Freedman, who was not, shared a drop of Lagavulin with me to take the edge off and while Steve packed, Avi and I packed it in to rest up for day two. The sound of the rain on the windowpane lulled me to sleep just after 3 a.m.

 

Double Digits

We had redrawn for seat assignments the night before. Mike "Kazoo" Keohan, who had eliminated me at Foxwoods, told me he was at my table and showed me a seat map he had scribbled down. I was in seat four. Mike was two to my left in seat six. Marla, from day one, had seat seven and the aggressive high-stakes player Ted Forest, who was involved in The Hand with Alan Goering and Doyle Brunson in the 2003 Bellagio WPT Championship, was in seat eight. A short stack to my left, Raymond Davis, busted out quickly when Greg "Real Estate" Geller in seat two made a great read on him and called his all-in bet with a Pair of Sixes. Raymond's two high cards didn't get help and he was replaced by the guy who owned the massage service that was providing in-seat treatments during the tournament. The three to my left were playing pretty conservatively so I was able to pick up a lot of blinds and antes, especially when I intimidated them with my monkey face.

 

Seats one and three busted out and were replaced by two more guys named Greg so now everybody on the right end of the table was named Greg. Greg in seat one was raising a lot in early position but my read on him was he had a hand this time so I called his 2200 with a Pair of Tens, hoping he was on two big cards. The Flop came Ten-Six-Three rainbow, giving me top Set for the nuts. Greg bet 5000 into the 6000-chip pot. I had to decide whether to call or raise. I decided to play it conservatively and move all my chips in when I knew I had a huge advantage. He thought for a long time and folded, showing one Jack, presumably part of a Pair. With no draw on the board I should have just called and hoped he bet again (and didn't hit his two outs for a better set). The win brought me to a new high of 45,000 chips but I wasted the opportunity to win perhaps 20,000 more with my monster. They moved Greg to another table right after that and broke our table soon after.

 

The new table, 11, was a nightmare. Whereas I was one of the chip leaders at the last table, everyone here had more chips than I. I had seat one with 1994 WSOP champ Russ Hamilton to my left, three super-aggressive players in the next three seats, one tight conservative player, then Ted Forest and the dreaded Jeff "Happy" Shulman, who had put me out of my first big tourney at the Orleans. We were down to 11 tables, 99 people, so I had made it to double digits for the third WPT event in a row. Barry Shulman, Jeff's father and CEO of Card Player Magazine, came by to ask how it was that I kept making it so far in these big events. Jeff jumped right in and said I had been playing for 30 years in Europe without their knowledge. As far as I was concerned 28^th paid the same as 382^nd so unless I ever made the money there was nothing to write home – to Hungary – about. With the loose players on my left my strategy was to play quality cards and catch their bluffs. My best hand, though, was the troublesome Ace-Queen and when seat four reraised all in to my under-the-gun opener, I thought for a long time and reluctantly mucked, thinking the best I could hope for was to be a slight underdog to a middle pair. The blinds and antes had gone up to 800-1600 and 200 so all of a sudden I was a short stack. Ted Forest limped in on my big blind and I had King-Six of Hearts. The flop came Ten-Six-Five, two Spades, and Ted bet out 3500 into the 6400-chip pot. I thought for a long time. I had 18,000 left and I would win 10,000 if Ted folded. I didn't think he had a hand he could call a big raise with so I moved all in with second Pair and an overcard. I decided to mix it up by not making the monkey face and he folded so I was back up to 28,000 when they broke the table.

 

I sat down at table 10 seat five. This time the aggressive players, including the dangerous Amir Vahedi, were to my right. It wasn't more than a few hands into the new table when I was on the Big Blind and it folded around to the Small Blind, who raised. I saw two Tens and pushed in all my chips. He turned over two Queens. I didn't get the miracle and I was out of the contest, finishing 69^th. The other players at the table said that was the first real hand he had had all day.

 

I said my goodbyes to Andy and Howard, who were still in it, and walked out to the parking lot in the cool rain, splashing through puddles and pressing the remote over and over again to make the Camry sing out its location. I called Shortstack to report the bad news and as always she showed genuine surprise and disappointment even though the result had been the same as it always was, kind of like a Seattle weather report. I had a couple days to relax and hit some of my favorite LA restaurants before the Celebrity Invitational began on Wednesday.